Dems: Gov't shutdown to cause HUGE environmental disaster. Worried women, minorities, poor, gays, disabled will suffer nervous sphincters, loose bowel syndrome.

From the Congressional Record, April 1, 2011

In  members’ morning speeches today in Congress, several Democrat Senators and Representatives denounced the looming government shutdown, saying that if the GOP failed to act, it would cause one of the largest man-made environmental disasters in the nation’s history.

Rep. Sheila Jackson-Lee: ” Women, especially poor women worry about where they’ll go for needed medical services, like mammograms. I’m a woman, and I know what happens when we women get nervous. We have to tinkle a lot more. And if the government shutdown happens, well, I guess that 100 million women will probably be going mnay times more each day than usual.  And this could go on for days, weeks.My God, you Republicans..do you have ANY idea how much water that will waste?”

Rep. Debbie Wasserman-Schultz: ” I want to fully associate myself with the words of my esteemed colleague, Ms. Jackson-Lee. Here in Florida, we could well see the statewide water table drop several feet. This could drain the Everglades. Animals will die. The biosphere will be disrupted.”

Sen. Charles Schumer:  “Here in NY, we are well aware of the annual phenomenon that occurs during each SuperBowl halftime, when millions of New Yorkers get up from their couches and go relieve themselves at the same time. The water level in the Catskill Reservoir system drops measurably, due to millions upon millions of near simultaneous flushes.  Now imagine a similar event happening hundreds of times over the next few weeks.”

Rep. Nancy Pelosi: ” It is not only the problem of excessive #1 that this government shutdown will cause, we have the vastly more dangerous problem of excessive #2.  When people  fret about putting food on the table, or if their government checks don’t arrive, or being able to have access to rudimentary health care,  they worry. This causes their guts to literally come unglued. It’s messy…this vast, continuing dischage into our nation’s sewer systems will overload our solid waste sewage treatment systems. The plants will back up. Raw sewage will flow into the Hudson River, the Potomac, the Colorado, San Fransisco Bay.  This is a potential environmental disaster GREATER than the BP oil spill in the Gulf. My party will not stand by and let this happen.”

Sen. Barbara Boxer: ” And we all know what happens when men get nervous and anxious. Yes, they too will tax the sewage system. But men also get angry, get mad. And this means that millions of poor women will be beaten and raped each day that the government is shut down. And there is no doubt that this will be the Republican’s fault.”