Are NSA Nerds Obsessed With Prom Date Gossip?

A student at Central York High School was given a three-day in school suspension for asking Miss America to the prom and approaching her to bestow upon her a rose crafted from distilled petroleum byproduct.

The beauty queen was there to discuss diversity and the importance of math and science.

The school is claiming that the suspension was necessary because he decided to defy academic authorities after being instructed to not proceed with the gesture after they had been informed of the conspiracy.

But perhaps the most disturbing aspect of the incident is how the school may have found out about it.

According to WMAL’s Saturday morning show, pedagogues were tipped off by the NSA.

If so, is this the kind of national security dictatorship Americans want to live in where federal intelligence operatives troll the dark corners of cyberspace for the purposes of foiling high school pranks and hijinks?

Some are asking what exactly did the student do wrong?

In essence, little more than failing to comply with the directives of the state and causing a disruption. But did the student really cause a disruption?

After all, isn’t bringing in Miss America itself an inherently disruptive act?

If the school is so concerned about disruptions to the learning process, why do they have a prom anyway?

Most readily admit that the occasion is little more than an officially sanctioned orgy with the most profound disruption to the lives of these students occurring nine months later.

It’s not like the student didn’t wait to the question and answer portion of the presentation.

Technically, there is nothing more the students can learn from Miss America than they can a shriveled old maid. And perhaps this is what it all comes down to.

Educated or not, Miss America is not extended that position based solely on the size of her academic credentials.

Given the photo of Miss America that accompanies accounts of this story on a number of websites, it may have more to do with her lush caramel cleavage.

What this lad really did wrong was to admit to that some women are simply more desirable than others.

You can’t really dangle that in front of a teen boy’s face and not expect him to try for the brass ring.

By Frederick Meekins