President Obama Is Not Breaking Promises, Just Redefining Them

There is a lot of talk already about the Administration breaking promises.  Since all of those on the left keep saying Conservatives are just being negative, I wanted to try to be upbeat.  The President has not broken any of his promises, he is merely redefining what they mean.  It is not his fault that we misunderstood.  Here are some examples and their current translation.


We want to work together in a spirit of bipartisanship.

The Democrats are certainly willing to work together with Republicans.  They never said they wanted input and dialogue.  They will let us vote for their crappy legislation along with them whenever we want to.


No more pork or earmarks.

There is no more pork or earmarks anymore.  We just call it spending.  When the amount is truly ridiculous, we call it a Stimulus.


There will be a 5 day period for review between when it is passed by Congress and signed by the President.

If you add up all the time between passage and signing for all the bills that have gone through so far, it adds up to more than 5 days.  Nobody ever said 5 days in a row for each bill.  People just read what they wanted to see into that one.


There will be no lobbyists in the new administration.

They are not lobbyists, they quit those jobs first.  Besides, what is in the title of lobbyist anyway?  As far as we are concerned they are just private citizen who happened to talk to the government about things on occasion.


No more politics of personal destruction or politics as a blood sport.

Nobody has attacked any politicians in this kind of horrible, viscous fashion.  We are attacking private citizens like Rush Limbaugh and Jim Cramer instead.  That is not politics, we just hate those guys.


No taxation for individuals making under $250,000.

The income taxes we are looking to ratchet up are only for those people.  What about the cigarette tax from SCHIP and proposed increases on energy taxes?  Those taxes do not target people that make under $250k at all.  If you make less that $250k and use energy or smoke that is not our fault.  You can either stop those behaviors or stop be so damn lazy and get a job paying more.  It is a free country, the choice is up to you. 


We will have a more open and transparent government.

Hey, we know what we are up to.  Is it our fault you guys can’t figure it out?  How much more obvious do we need to be?  Do we need to start quoting Marx or something?


See?  Don’t you all feel better now?