Diary

The Great Italian Mushroom Hunter Massacre Of 2010.

OK, before y’all start a-yellin’ at me, eighteen people unnecessarily lost their lives on the hillsides of Italy over the past few days.  That really sucks on many levels and was truly a preventable tragedy.

So then……..

Mushroom hunter “massacre” claims 18 lives in Italy.

(Reuters) – At least 18 mushroom-lovers have been killed in accidents while hunting for their favorite fungi in the mountains and forests of northern Italy.  Mountain rescuers say eager mushroom seekers are abandoning safety procedures as they don camouflage and hunt in darkness to protect coveted troves, La Repubblica newspaper reported on Sunday.

“There is too much carelessness. Too many people don’t give a darn about the right rules and unfortunately this is the result,” Gino Comelli, head of the Alpine rescue service in northwest Italy’s Valle di Fassa, told the newspaper.


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Read it all.

You know where this going, right ?


People don’t kill people. Only mushrooms kill people !

plus…..

Government MUST fully regulate the entire mushroom industry !

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…….and guess what…… here it is….. almost like they knew this tragedy was coming and were ready for it.

I translated the following from Italian into Americanized English so you can understand it all better.


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Emergency National Notification To All Citizens Of Italy.

By order of Parliament.

National Italian Mushroom Regulation Operations Directives (N.I.M.R.O.D.) In Place, Effective Immediately.

All automatically re-sporing mushroom species that began spawning after – My note: Apparently they picked a random date – 1984 are hereby banned as way too dangerous for civilians.

All persons and/or corporations even considering growing mushrooms commercially will be subject to a full investigation into their life-history and business resume by the newly formed I.B.A.T.F.E. (Italian Bureau of Atsa Ton-a Fungus to Eat).

All civilians are forbidden to grow mushrooms on private land without the same I.B.A.T.F.E. background check plus annual licensing fees at the rate of twenty percent of gross household income.

All commercially available mushrooms to be given individual species numbers, grower identification numbers, production date codes and per-piece serialized control – all to be traceable online from the originator through the end-user.

All persons no matter who or where – within a commercial mushroom establishment or a civilian – are hereby prevented from gathering and removing mushrooms in the wild without full compliance of the following:

1.  Completion of forms and demonstrable proof of ability from attendance at and passage of an I.B.A.T.F.E.-certified course in mushroom identification, handling PLUS at least twenty hours of certified culinary preparation.  Culinary certification MUST be through the new I.B.A.T.F.E. university called C.I.A.O. (Cook Italian Always and Only).  Helping out in cucina di Nonna (grandmother’s kitchen) since you were six year’s old is not acceptable as training under Parliamentary edict.

2.  Obtaining an official ‘MCP’ – Mushroom Carry Permit – from the citizen’s local constabulary, which will be verified via a new I.B.A.T.F.E. system requiring fingerprints, retina scans and DNA samples.

3.  Purchasing mushrooms will necessitate completion of the new I.B.A.T.F.E. form number 3744, The Fungus Transaction Record via an FFLFargin Fungi Licensee.

4.  Civilians may make no more than two licensed and certified mushroom purchase per month – no exceptions.

5.  Transport of mushrooms between Italia’s Venti Regioni (Italy’s twenty official regions) is forbidden without proper permitting, documentation and containerizing under I.B.A.T.F.E. regulations in consultation with each region’s Governor.

6.  NO mushroom spores are allowed to be sent via postal/mail methods without prior certification and completion of I.B.A.T.F.E. instruction courses, obtaining proper permits and monthly pre-payment estimated VAT’s for such transactions.

7.  Non-Italian citizens are proscribed at all times from any and all possession of uncooked mushrooms.

There are additional and separate regulations for commercial mushroom growers, to be published within thirty days.  These additional regulations will cover the new coding and serializing methods and systems, purchasing from approved vendors of said equipment for compliance and fee/fine structure for the industry in instances of non-compliance.

Until such time as the official release of these commercial parameters, NO MUSHROOM GROWING OR SALES ARE PERMITTED.  Civil and criminal penalties, up to and including fines, imprisonment, forfeiture of business licenses and all assets will be enforced for violators.

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I’ll stop now.

😉

Kenny Solomon
Il tipico, amaro Dio-aderindo proprietario di pistola e latrato-matto insano sostenitore di NASCAR.


Original text (c)2010 K L Solomon
Article (c)2010 Reuters


Cross-posted at T.A.S.G.