Palestinian Authority Chief Says Israel Is Trying To Kill Him.


Fatah head Mahmoud Abbas, current chairman of the Palestinian Authority, claims that Israel is trying to assassinate him. Abbas told an Egyptian news agency this week that Israel had murdered his predecessor,Yasser Arafat – despite Arafat’s commitment to peace – and that he is afraid of suffering the same fate. The PA chairman, who enjoys massive political and economic backing from Western powers, further stated that he is not prepared to resume negotiations with Israel until all Jewish construction in Judea and Samaria is halted, claiming the current 10-month ban by the government of Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu on Jewish building in the area is not sufficient for a return to negotiations.

Abbas’s remarks came against the backdrop of intense American efforts to quickly resume negotiations between Israel and the PA. United States Secretary of State Hillary Clinton called this week on the local parties to resume talks without any pre-conditions. Speaking to reporters in Washington this week, Clinton reiterated that the United States would seek “an outcome which ends the conflict and reconciles…the Palestinian goal of an independent and viable state based on the 1967 lines.”



First things first…… Mrs. Clinton:  I think the operative term should be for you to ‘Sod Off’.  However, to a person of your elevated position on the world stage, I’d suggest the following:  Don’t push it or you’ll have a war you won’t believe….. and can’t win.


Now then, on to the main matter at hand.

Ms. Moneypenny, take a letter and send it out immediately………..


To:  Mr. Mahmoud Abbas – Chairman, Palestinian Authority
From:  Captain Obvious – In the black helicopter over your house.
Subject:  It’s not paranoia if there really is someone out to get you.

Chairman Abbas:

If Teh Eeeeevil Jooooooooooos were trying to send you off to meet your 72 virgin goats, you would have been long gone….. Decades ago. Instead, ‘my people’ over there (and 78% of those here in The USA) have this crazy idea that they can talk to and reason with anyone, even the devil himself.

However, if I were you, I’d keep ‘checking my six’….. Know what I mean ?  Just because the Israelis aren’t coming to get you, doesn’t mean your own people won’t because they think you’re not forcing jihad to move forward fast enough.

Have a nice day……. What was that noise behind you ?!?

Cheers !

Kenny Solomon
Senior Expediter
The 72 Virgins Club Travel Agency
Offices and representatives throughout the 57 States of America.