Major thanks to Pamela Geller of Atlas Shrugs for standing on the wall unwavering.
Police in Austria are investigating the mysterious death of a British nuclear monitoring expert. Early news reports said that Timothy Hampton, who worked for an international monitoring unit called the Comprehensive Nuclear-Test-Ban Treaty Organization (CTBTO), died after falling 12 stories in a building in the Vienna International Center, one of the United Nations’ main office complexes in Europe.
Vienna – via Colorado.
A chief investigator has just been apointed to look into the somewhat unusual death of Mr. Timothy Hampton, investigative nuclear materials scientist.
Officer Barbrady of The South Park Colorado Police Department has arrived in Vienna and immediately went to work. Thirty minutes later, he met a rather large gathering of international press.
“Good afternoon. On investigating Mr. Hampton’s unfortunate fall and demise in an alarmed-access stairway from the 17th floor to the 5th, the first thing I noticed is the alarm never rang anywhere. There was a bag over Mr. Hampton’s head tied by a wire, so I removed that and threw it out so I could compare Mr. Hampton’s face with his driver’s license for identification. It was him.
Next, I untied Mr. Hampton’s hands from behind his back, in order to make things easier for the coroner’s office. What a coincidence, his hands were tied with the same type of wire as was the bag.
Anyway, I did a bit more investigating and could deduce only one conclusion: Nothing to see here. Move on you Lookie-Lou’s……. I’ll now take questions…………………….. Anybody ?……………………. Anyone ?”
MSNBCNTYIMESCBSABCCNNREUTERS: “No, we’re good. Fantastic job and thanks, Officer Barbrady.”
“Your welcome. My job here is done.”
The 72 Virgins Club Travel Agency
Bacon-wrapped rounds a specialty.