In a revised version of the nursery rhyme that aired recently on the British Broadcasting Corporation’s children’s channel CBeebies, the tale – which first appeared in print in 1810 – no longer ends with “all the king’s horses and all the king’s men/Couldn’t put Humpty together again”. Now, a crack squadron of His Majesty’s finest hard-boiled military personnel has found the recipe to “make Humpty happy again”. How eggsellent.
I’ve got way too much snark in my head from this……..
Little Miss Muffett sat on her tuffet, eating her no-hormone, vegan curds and unfiltered whey from a non-carbon-based container.
Little Boy Blue, you can’t blow your horn anymore because you emit too much carbon dioxide in the act and then there’s the noise-pollution problem with your playing so loud.
The itsy-bitsy spider went up the water spout……… and The EPA swooped in and made the site a bio-safed area where no humans can intervene for any reason in such an unspoiled natural habitat.
Jack Sprat could eat no fat….. because The FDA outlawed it all.
There was an old lady, she lived in a shoe, she had so many children……….. DCF visited daily to set parameters and mandates that couldn’t be met by anyone even with a dozen full-time 24/7 nannys and an in-house diaper service.
The Three Little Pigs…… have all been banned from entering the slaughterhouse by the fully Islamic staff from Somalia, thus leaving the US food supply wanting.
London Bridge is falling down, falling down, falling down.
London Bridge is falling down….. because it was blown up by peace-loving-religious people.
The 72 Virgins Club Travel Agency
Bacon-wrapped rounds a specialty.