Two articles, one day apart………
“Will the defendant please rise” will become a distant memory in The UK……
Magistrates angry over cuts as on-the-spot fines replace court hearings.
Magistrates are angry that they are being made to carry the brunt of cuts because their workload is being diverted away from the courts.
They say that increasing numbers offenders are being dealt with by “on-the-spot” fines and cautions — almost half of all offences are now dealt with in this way.
So in my usual attempt at snarkification extraordinaire………….
I can see it now………. On the streets of London:
Cop: “Stop !…….. You’re nicked !”
Criminal: “For what, mate ?”
Cop: “Grand Larceny, Fraud and Embezzlement Of Crown Assets. Been looking for you almost a month.”
Criminal: “Oh Bloody Hell, you got me.”
Cop: “The Crown gets 20 Quid and all is sorted.”
Criminal: “Aye, what are you on about?”
Cop: “On the Queen’s honour, hand over a checque for 20 Pounds payable to Scotland Yard and we’re done. No cash though.”
Criminal: “Right, what kind of a tosser do you think I am ? Where’s the cameras…… This is the new Monty Python being filmed, yes ?”
Cop: Look young man, hand over the 20, or I’ll run you to Strangeways myself.”
Criminal: (Thinking) My God, he’s serious……. “I’ve not the checkbook with me, Sir.”
Cop: “I’ll follow you home, or to your bank.”
Criminal: (20 minutes later)……..”Here’s the bank note, Officer.”
Cop: “Thanks and here’s your receipt from The Yard. Have a nice day.”
Criminal: (Five seconds after the cop leaves.) “This nation’s off it’s bleedin’ head.”
So of course, The Home Office couldn’t just leave that be and decided to elevate their version of ‘change’ to the next level……….
Police told to take it easy on Muslim extremists.
Police will be ordered not to charge Muslim extremists in many hate crime cases – to stop them becoming more militant.
I’m sorry mate, what was that you said ?………..
Really ?……There’s a sale at Harrod’s !….. Let’s go !
Oh well…. Nothing to see here…… No way something like this or worse could happen here in The USA, especially with our completely-responsive-to-The Constitution elected officials and such a great man like Eric Holder as AG.
Eh luv ? HR 1913….. What’s all this then ?
Kenneth L Solomon
Typical, bitter, Jewish, God-clinging, gun owner and barking-mad insane NASCAR fan, locked and loaded in South Flori-duh.
Bing, biiiiing, biiiiiiiiiiing, Oy Vey …. It’s Ricochet Rabbi !!