January 20th 2010 ; A Year To The Day

A family of four from San Francisco is on vacation, driving across The North-Central-South Union in their Venezuelan-built hybrid-and-bio-fuel sub-mini-three-wheel-compact.

They see a sign advertising “Museum ahead, the last of an original place of it’s kind” and decide to have a look at the place. It’s the only ‘mom & pop’, ‘brick and mortar’ operation left on the continent and it’s located in the deep woods of what used to be Western South Dakota.

After parking and releasing the required 10-point safety harness holding the kids in their self-surround hard-shell cocoon seats, they get out of the car, walk through the parking area towards the building and one of the kids notices right away that the mandated two sets of five-section recycling bins are not at the front door of the establishment. The toddler makes a note of that on his I-Phone.

The husband says something to the effect of ‘I remember when there were shops like this all over the place” and walks up the three steps to the front entrance.

The other child makes a note on her I-Phone that the disabled-person access ramp seems to be visibly 5 nano-microns too short on the height-to-length ratio and the ramp itself is not currently lighted (even though it’s a sunny day with no cloud cover).

They walk in and the other husband looks around the museum and is instantly visibly shaken……”Oh my, they have illegal merchandise here !”, he says, causing the rest of the family to look where he’s pointing, directly at (gasp !) an out-of-reach, behind-the-counter, locked-in-a-cage, small display of (oh no) American Flags and a map of The United States Of America. There is a large sign over the display cage stating “The enclosed items are not for sale. Remember, this is not a store, it is a museum.”

Walking around the shop, the children are seeing things for the first time in their lives and the husbands are trying diligently to explain what the items are.

One husband says to his daughter, “Moonbeam, these things are from a bygone era, when lawlessness ran rampant throughout what was a horrible land, the same place you’re learning about now in first grade at your school, The Anointed Patron Saint Gore Elementary. What you’re seeing are illegal items, especially the books and photographs, but for some reason the world court allows places like this to exist. Let’s take a walk through some more.”

The other husband is with their son and they see some highly secured display cases inside a sectioned-off room saying it’s an Original American Artifacts Museum and asks, “Daddy, what’s all that ?” He says to the kid, “Let’s go take a look, Pat” and as soon as he sees what’s contained in the first case, the man screams “GUNS ! OH NO, THEY HAVE GUNS HERE !! Then he calms down after seeing the large sign proclaiming that the two rusted and visibly bent firearms in the case are 100-plus-year-old inoperable antiques and cannot work anyway because the internal biometric computers in the grips are matched to only one person on the planet and that person is at the world government office in Paris. The firearms will also not work because there are no firing pins in them, as mandated throughout the North-Central-South Union to help protect the children.

As the pair tour the museum section further, the child sees items and keeps asking questions like, “Daddy, what does this paper mean here….. it ends with ‘one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all’ – I don’t understand.” The father says, “Pat, you’re too young to understand, so it’s ok. Just remember your lessons from school about how The Blessed Obama saved the country last year by assuring everybody that even though nobody has any guns anymore, the new inner-city murder rate of 1,500 firearm deaths per 5,000 population will come down soon.

…..and then the husbands hear it…….. it sounds out of place……… what could it be ? It’s a voice, but it sounds bad…. no fidelity at all. Oh no, it’s an AM radio and what’s this ?!? …..it’s switched on and tuned to the illegal underground talk radio network. They soon realize that they are hearing that hate-filled maniac Glenn Beck and his live daily in-tears recital of The Declaration Of Independence, The Constitution and Bill Of Rights of the former United States Of America.

The husbands grab the kids and run out of the museum screaming in agony, lest the children be corrupted by evil. In the background they hear the museum proprietor laugh and say loudly, “Have a nice day and y’all come back now, ya hear ?”

©2009 K L Solomon/Swiss Navy Productions………….
Cross-posted at Grizzly Groundswell.