"Occupy [insert name]" - What do they want? When do they want it?

The former? They’re not sure.

The latter? NOW!

Matt Labash over at The Weekly Standard went in search of some answers:

So what do they want? Besides, seemingly, to complain a lot about corporations, the very entities that provide so many of the jobs that our economy is sorely in need of? What are they advocating, besides their right to assemble publicly for the purposes of bucket-drumming and eating vegan quiche in the free chow line? Well, according to another posting on OWS’s website, they want a universal single-payer health care system, a guaranteed living wage regardless of employment, free college education, one trillion dollars in infrastructure improvement, to bring the fossil-fuel economy to an end, to outlaw all credit-reporting agencies, and to see immediate across-the-board debt forgiveness for all. This is just a partial list, but they’re also going to be needing unlimited open-borders migration, too, since “these demands will create so many jobs, it will be completely impossible to fill them without an open borders policy.”

But wait! Above that original posting is now an administrative note saying this is “not an official list of demands.” It is a forum post submitted by a single contributor and “hyped by irresponsible news/commentary agencies like Fox News.” It’s never been proposed or agreed to “on a consensus basis” by the OWS movement, so “there is NO official list of demands.”

Which brings us back to square one. Whether OWS just wants to end corporate welfare and protect workers’ rights, or whether they want the roads paved in gumdrops and to see every American entitled to a backrub from Sofía Vergara, they’re not interested in officially saying.

I see. Yeah, they’re just like the Tea Party, alright. Hardly discernible.

But with one slight difference, I notice. The Tea Party isn’t in the habit of being so self-involved they give the cold shoulder to people they purport to respect…

About 200 people attended the event. U.S. Congressman John Lewis even stopped by for about half an hour.

Several demonstrators held signs showing their frustration with Washington’s relationship with big business. Many people voiced general frustration. One woman said she was there for changes for animals. Another attendee said he didn’t think either party represented his feelings.

Congressman Lewis (D, GA) was ready to talk to the group, but they didn’t give him a chance to speak.

“I was going to say, I stand with you. I support you, what you’re down,” said Lewis to the media.

Seems a bit, I dunno, RAAA-CIST!!!!, don’t you think?

As Jazz Shaw at Hot Air points out, this latest bit of spoiled, petulant nonsense seems to have had the opposite effect of what they may have been looking for…

Michelle Williams was excited to attend the event and no longer wanted to be associated with the movement, citing how Lewis was treated.

“I am angry because this is not what democracy is all about. This is Marxist more Stalin like. Your movement, you’re just riff-raff. You’re an organized mob,” said Williams.

Just like the unassailable majority they were able to hold onto only until the very next election, it appears even a fawning media apparatus isn’t enough to keep Democrats and progressives from screwing it all up, given their propensity for obtuseness, violence, insult, and a staggering inability (or unwillingness) to tell anyone just what it is they want.

Many of us realized long ago that there really is no debate to be had with these people. So confident in the righteousness of their cause, so sure of man’s inherent evilness absent central planning by our betters, they’ve taken the absolute worst characteristics of history’s prior attempts at freedom-killing “-ism’s” and doubled down on them all. Of course, they’re in pursuit of “<a higher truth,” so who are we criticize?

Again, I hope this goes on, and the MSM sticks around to catch every glorious moment as these aimless, perpetually-aggrieved useful idiots march their unwashed selves right into irrelevancy. Whereas I used to resent the arrogance of millennials and the older liberals who so cheerfully encouraged them, I now find myself almost giddy with anticipation, secure in the knowledge that given enough time, nothing eradicates progressives quite as effectively as progressives themselves. It’s only a question of “when.”

As Gene Wilder’s Willy Wonka once said as Augustus Gloop was moments away from realizing the consequences of his impertinence, “The suspense is terrible. I hope it lasts.”