Diary

Palate Cleanser - The $20,000 Car Wash Liberals Will Hate, But I Aspire To Patronize One Day

Barack “The LIghtbringer” Obama, Quincy, IL, 29 April, 2010:

I mean, I do think at a certain point you’ve made enough money.

Lousy piker.

For most people washing your car involves a bucket of soapy water, a sponge and chamois leather.

But for some drivers with top of the range sports cars that simple method just doesn’t cut it.

Now though, those owners can treat their Ferraris, Lamborghinis and Aston Martins to ultimate all-star treatment – a £10,000 ‘car spa’ which is the world’s most expensive car wash.

The week-long treatment uses the latest in nano-technology with a ‘no-touch’ technique – where no bare human finger will be laid on the precious cars.

Instead the perfect – and top secret – combination of water treatment, temperature, pressure is used to ensure a perfect finish.

The Dubai based car wash, named Monza Ultimate Detailing and Protection, is particularly popular with car loving British expats living in the Gulf Kingdom.

My dream car, and a level of success everyone should aspire to...even liberals.

But you see, for progressives like Dear Leader, such a vulgar display of wealth and excessive luxury is something to be loathed and punished – most assuredly NOT a goal any sensitive “citizen of the world” would wish to pursue. This is precisely why any economic model designed to allow reward for ambition, self-discipline and hard work is something that these self-destructive under-achievers hate with the fury of a thousand suns.

Must really suck to be them, huh?

UPDATE: I’m reminded of a poster my mom (an Objectivist, self-described “Goldwater Girl”) bought for me back when I was still in high school – it featured a man, in full equine riding gear, hoisting a martini with one foot resting on the chrome bumper of a Rolls Royce. The caption stated: “Mediocrity Sucks.”

He was right.