Dear Senator Ensign

When you sleep with another man’s wife, you deserve what you get from that man. If he wanted you to pass special legislation adding his grandmother to Mt. Rushmore and buying him a new pony, you shut your [email protected]^@#! mouth and you do it.

If he wants the rest of us to hold you down while he beats the ever living crap out of you, you consent.

You have no business attacking this man’s integrity, character, judgment, or intentions.

Now go find a dark hole somewhere, climb in, and we will tell you when you are allowed back out. Until then, shut the hell up and give the man and your own wife whatever on earth they demand.

In the meantime, I’m going to go throw my branding iron with the letter A in the fire to get it hot.