Diary

So Robert Redford blames Cheney for the oil spill - and everything else

Wow. Just wow.

Wrinkle-boy sat down with Anderson Cooper on CNN a couple of days ago. The ratings situation has gotten that desperate over at the Commie News Network, I guess. Redford is clearly an expert on oil spills because…… well, because……oh yeah, because he acted in some movies that did rather well. Like Out of Africa and Electric Horseman.

Apparently Captain Underpants has got a SERIOUS crush on Dick Cheney. [Trust me, I know how brutal these celebrity romances can be. Salma Hayek and I are barely on speaking terms anymore.] Anyway, excerpts from Redford’s love-mad rambling:

Look, I think one of the reasons we’re in this problem is because we have not only a failed energy policy, but we have an energy policy — because of the way it was designed by who it was designed by, Cheney — it’s sick and it’s dangerous. And any energy policy that’s designed behind closed doors with oil, gas and coal companies is bound to end up being a disaster of some sort.

Look, all that stuff has come out, and it’s painfully obvious what’s happened — the corruption that came with MMS as a result of Dick Cheney and how he engineered this whole thing.
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You got to get rid of Cheney and every — and all the horses he came in with. You got to get rid of his energy policy. It’s bad for our health. It’s bad for our economy. It’s bad for our future. And I think the administration has to step up, get tough, get quick, and be very clear about what they’re prescribing. I think they have to be very clear about why there should be some moratorium, like should Shell be allowed to drill up in the Alaskan refuge? No, not yet. We got to get some facts in order first.

I mention three things in passing to our love-starved friend, who needs some major tan-in-a-can detox before getting near a microphone again.

  • Not many people are going to understand how a deep-water blowout in the Gulf of Mexico means we shouldn’t drill in Alaska. But hey, crazy works in Oregon. Try your luck there.
  • Dick Cheney has been gone for 17 months. You don’t have to ‘get rid of’ him. And…..objectively speaking, when the words “catastrophe” and “former vice president” are used together, it’s usually when a busload of children gets caught between former Vice President ManBearPig and a stack of twinkies.
  • Step away from the viagra. You’re feeling way too good here.

Dick, if you’re out there and reading, don’t trouble yourself with this. Get back to the crossword, or managing a large, successful multinational corporation – I confess, I’ve lost track of what you’re up to these days. My friend, you’ve got peeps now. We carry on the tradition of shooting lawyers (just kidding!!!!!) (sort of) and promoting comity with “our friends across the aisle” like Pat Leahy.

So I got this one:
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Hey Redford. Go fecal yourself.

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[h/t Mark Levin for introducing me to some of the nuances of the word ‘fecal’]