Diary

Skip the speech - I've got the transcript

Guys, I’m going to be doing something else during the speech, something vastly more important than watching the Ditherer-in-Chief. I haven’t decided exactly what, yet. I’m still deciding between working in the yard, working in the garage, or finally trying out BattleField – Bad Company 2 on X360. But you know, I got connections. Me and TOTUS, we got a history. So it so happens I called in a favor or two, and got the transcript. It’s the next-to-last draft, so certain things that are bracketed with [] still had to be filled in with certain details. But otherwise, it should be exactly what you hear tonight.

So, without any more build-up, here she is. No need to thank me, it’s a privilege to serve you.

I…..On it from day one…..[pose majestically]…..[lie lie lie]…..our…..me…..[dirty language to sound tough]…..[blame Bush]…..future of green energy…..I…..environmental catastrophe caused by capitalist greed…..make no mistake…..[here, how does this profile look, is this my good side?]…..I…..my administration…..[empty promise I have no intention of keeping]…..our…..[warm fuzzy item here]…..I…..the mistakes of the previous decade…..[dirty language to sound tough]…..my team’s best and brightest minds are on it…..our…..I have ordered…..my daughter said to me…..new regulations…..make no mistake…..[dirty language to sound tough]…..I…..[lie lie lie]…..me…..our…..the previous decade…..[empty promise I have no intention of keeping]…..[how about this macho pose, does it make me look tough?]…..my administration…..I…..[take credit for something I had nothing to do with]…..make no mistake…..BP needs to pay…..[blame Bush]…..[tantrum to gain Spike Lee approval]…..our…..my administration…..take care of the environment…..I am Elvis…..me…..our boot on their neck…..I…..[take credit for something I had nothing to do with]…..make no mistake…..me…..reckless…..[blame Bush]…..I…..[dirty language to sound tough]…..regulate…..working as hard as we can…..[lie lie lie]…..my administration…..[take credit for something I had nothing to do with]…..make no mistake…..our…..[warm fuzzy item here]…..our…..oil company greed…..[lie lie lie]…..I…..make no mistake…..my administration…..[empty promise I have no intention of keeping]…..I am Batman…..me…..[blame Bush]…..decades of unbridled greed…..make no mistake…..I will have the coastline cleaner than it’s ever been…..I…..[dirty language to sound tough]…..reckless…..me…..me…..me…..me. Thank you very much, and good night.