ACORN claims video was doctored

[as I post this, ACORN’s main site appears to be down…]


The fun just does not end for America’s favorite taxpayer-funded racketeering, embezzlement, and election fraud enterprise. Having been caught on video TWICE (so far) giving the OK to under-age prostitution, tax fraud and signing false statements, they’ve reacted petulantly, and MOST entertainingly [caution – you may want to disinfect your hands before and after you visit ACORN’s home site]:

But it is clear that the videos are doctored, edited, and in no way the result of the fabricated story being portrayed by conservative activist “filmmaker” O’Keefe and his partner in crime. And, in fact, a crime it was – our lawyers believe a felony – and we will be taking legal action against Fox and their co-conspirators.

More excerpts below the fold, hilarity and laugh track included…

Good beginnings

The year started off so well for ACORN. The ACORN candidate was installed in the White House – a former community organizer and avowed Alinskyite who was closely tied to ACORN all along the way. The partisan media were 100% in the bag for their candidate, providing hundreds of millions of dollars worth of in-kind campaign donations (in the form of ‘newscasts’, ‘news’ magazine shows, ‘news’ articles and that wonderful little ‘Sarah Must Die’ blitz) and the Republicans ran a lackluster squish candidate, so it’s very likely their candidate did not even NEED the half a million fraudulent votes (my WAG) ACORN provided him.

In the famous Porkulus package passed within 5 weeks of inauguration, up to $8.5 billion (that’s 8.5 BILLION BUCKS) was allocated to grants, funds, and projects ACORN would be eligible for.

Next thing you know, Obama has moved control of the US Census Bureau from the Commerce Department to White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel’s desk. Soon ACORN was named a ‘national partner‘ with the Census Bureau for the 2010 census, giving ACORN a whole range of grand new ways to cheat America, advance Marxism, and get paid by you to do it.

Meanwhile the national partisan leftist media had succeeded in largely burying news of all the investigations, indictments, and convictions in something like 15 states — too busy convicting and sentencing CIA interrogators in the paper, apparently. Eric Holder, another shyster and crook, was now in charge of the Justice Department, and had already killed the investigation into the New Black Panthers voter intimidation case.

Indeed, good times were on the way for ACORN.


Then the Tea Parties happened. The August recess happened. Van Jones, fellow traveler, happened. Suddenly and disturbingly, the partisan media were no longer in charge. It was starting to look like the racist teabagging elitist conservatives common American people were deciding for themselves what was news.

And now the video tapes. Even with a full partisan media blackout, the New Media and Fox News splashed this sensational and disturbing video into the public consciousness. The U.S. Census Bureau, apparently already fed up with ACORN, immediately sent ACORN a letter severing all ties for the 2010 Census. The Dear John letter was quite nasty, and one wonders how soon before Rahm Emanuel orders up a horse head to be delivered to Census Bureau Director Robert Groves’ bed.

Amusingly, the leftist media were finally forced to mention the videos — in order to explain why Census was dumping ACORN.

ACORN’s devastating riposte

I kid, I kid……

Just start this laugh track (repeat as needed) and read for yourself poetry from the pen of ACORN Chief Organizer Bertha Davis [my color commentary in brackets]:

  • The relentless attacks on ACORN’s members, its staff and the policies and positions we promote are unprecedented. [yeah try being a conservative and see what it’s like every day, beyotch]
  • It is not coincidence that the most recent attacks have been launched just when health care reform is gaining traction. [really? Going down in flames is ‘gaining traction’?]
  • We are their Willy Horton for 2009.[really? You’re murderers and rapists? Good to know]
  • This recent scam, which was attempted in San Diego, Los Angeles, Miami, New York, Philadelphia to name a few places, had failed for months before the results we’ve all recently seen. [then I guess these employees in Baltimore and DC missed the internal memo to ‘watch out for those scam artists posing as pimps and asking for tax advice’]
  • But it is clear that the videos are doctored, edited, and in no way the result of the fabricated story being portrayed by conservative activist “filmmaker” O’Keefe and his partner in crime.[I admit, I saw the government doctors posing as aliens too ………… what, you didn’t?]
  • We will not be intimidated by this international conglomerate, which has made as its mission the destruction of our organization.
  • [Our committment has included…] helping hundreds of thousands of African-American and Latino voters register to vote and get to the polls in recent years.[mostly dead ones, duplicate ones, and Dallas Cowboy players]
  • .
    OK I admit it. ACORN has convinced me that we’re all evil. Evil capitalists and liberty-loving cads.