CONTEST : the unofficial BambiCare "I'll never get that hour back" contest

Tonight at 8PM EDT Bambi has yet another prime time news conference.

You didn’t know?

Yeah, most of us did not notice either. The networks were rather ho-hum in signing on. NBC would not run it unless the WH bumped it out of the “America’s Got Talent” slot at 9PM. FOX (not FoxNews) refused. ABC came on board grudgingly, after their June 24 prime-time BambiCare Informercial tanked so bad that it was 9th out of 12 in its time slot, failing to beat out a New Adventures of Old Christine rerun for #8.

This time it’s a futile attempt to rescue BambiCare — the unsinkable ship that has unexpectedly had a brush with an iceberg called “The public doesn’t want what you’re selling”. The propellers are already clear of the water, but he’s gonna try his “Hope-n-Change” miracle-worker mojo on it.

You can watch it if you want, but I’m not wasting an hour watching this. Instead, we’re going to have a contest. It’s a contest to fill in the blank for this:

I would rather spend that hour _________________ than watching BambiCare flop around like a salmon in a grizzly’s mouth.

Rules after the jump, because NO WAY am I letting you loose on this one without boundaries. Bunch of pervs……

Rule 1 : nothing vulgar or sexual in nature.
Rule 2 : absolutely, do not come anywhere near violating the first rule. If you think it’s borderline, you should listen to that cautionary voice in your ear saying “don’t write that”.
Rule 3 : it has to be something you would rather NOT do. The idea is, I hate doing [________], but I’d rather do THAT than watch the BambiCare presser tonight.
Rule 4 : it’s supposed to be light-hearted, fun, and family-friendly clean. So just to remind: do not toy with rule #1. That includes all bathroom humor, changing diapers, shoveling elephant poop at the zoo, all of it. OFF the table.

I judge. The contest closes first thing Thursday morning when I get up. Winner gets a free t-shirt of their choice from my website when I get it running (hopefully by Aug 15). Multiple entries are welcome. What I consider important: how cleverly stated, how creative an idea, and how strongly a person would hate doing it. Also, don’t make sport of my Dallas Cowboys, that won’t get you a t-shirt.

Bad examples:

  • Watching replays of the Cowboy’s Super Bowl wins of 1992, 1993, and 1995. Unless you are a Niners or Bills fan.
  • Beating up JJ Abrams and Damon Lindelof, the creators of Lost
  • Ordering Markos M around while he cleans your house – while you sip mint julips with your feet on the ottoman

Good examples:

  • cleaning the tables and dishes after a 300-person baby-back rib-eating contest
  • jogging 10 miles in Beijing – without a smog-filtering mask on
  • being nice to Jimmy Carter
  • sitting in stop-n-go traffic on Loop 12
  • wearing a Washington Redskins jersey while whistling show tunes from Seven Brides for Seven Brothers
  • Diving a wreck without a buddy

You get the idea. Run with it.