Diary

American Merchant Sailors : Not Waiting on Obama's Help, Take Back Ship From Pirates

Details are sketchy at the moment – it’s a currently breaking story – but by all indications, the American crew of the American-flagged Maersk Alabama has retaken the ship from the Somali pirates who commandeered the ship last night.

Oh my godz! O Noes!! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

Americans taking care of themselves, without Obama’s government coming to the rescue. Does……. not…… compute. Does……. not…… compute.

The American government’s response thus far had been the following:

  • White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs – yes, THAT Robert Gibbs, the Obama answer to Scott McClellan – had stated: The White House is closely monitoring the apparent hijacking of the US-flagged ship in the Indian Ocean and assessing a course of action to resolve this situation. Our top priority is the personal safety of the crew members on board.
  • US Navy ships were steaming that direction. Navy Spokesman Lt. Nathan Christensen offered this: The area the ship was taken in, is not where the focus of our ships has been. The area we’re patrolling is more than a million miles in size. Our ships cannot be everywhere at every time.


It’s likely the sailors figured they had a choice between being beheaded on camera, and taking matters into their own hands. President Bush’s Navy might save them. Obama? Nah, we better do this ourselves.

Good job, boys! Expect a bill from the United States Government in the near future, to pay for the petrol they burned up moving those Navy ships in your direction. They need the money, ya know, so they can pay ACORN to run the 2010 census. Also, word has it there are still a couple of bridges, buildings and highways in West Virginia without “Robert C. Byrd Memorial [fill in object name here]” emblazoned on them.

Sources indicate Obama will apologize to the Somalis.