Day 1 of the new administration promises to be busy. We got a secret copy of the memo.
It’s XO Day! The first 20 orders will be:
- All press questions about Israel and Gaza shall be referred to an unnamed spokesman.
- Now that I’m president, all press questions about the economy shall be referred to an unnamed spokesman, unlike previously, when I sat back and criticized everything Bush did.
- FoxNews — off the plane.
- Joe Biden – who is that? I am the vice president I have been waiting for!
- Concensus now means – everybody agrees with me. Well, actually, it always meant that.
- Executive Orders are now laws.
- Everything is Bush’s fault.
- Everything that is not Bush’s fault is the Republicans’ fault.
- Fairness doctrine – Law!
- Card-Check – Law!
- Homeland Security – tear down that wall!
- When I play basketball, I win.
- Illinois shall be renamed Obamanois
- Texas shall be renamed “I hate that place”.
- Jack Bauer must be arrested.
- I win American Idol – every year!
- The TV show Lost must explain the gray cloud-dinosaur thing.
- Put all the ‘O’s back on those darn keyboards.
- Dang, I am one FINE looking individual!