Diary

Pssst! RedState! Let's ix-nay all the mad joy over iden-bay [update - Operation Ix-nay succeeds!]

I have a message that is intended only for Republican eyes — a message that is desperately important right at this moment. I struggle with exactly how to pose this, because I know both Democrats and Republicans are reading.

This calls for some subterfuge. The New York Jets were apparently powerless to stop the Cheating Cheaters from intercepting their messages. [Hint, guys – you should have taken notes from baseball, and done just a bit of encoding?] I, however am lucky; fortunately Democrats are almost by definition unimaginative dullards. So I have a weakness to exploit.

So guys, get your secret decoder template out (for those not at the most recent VRWC .. errr…ah…Illuminati meetings, it’s page 4 of the printed text of Dick Cheney’s ‘go ahead and torture them at Gitmo’ internal memo) Jump with me to see the encoded message:

[Update: as of 2:22 last night (8/23/08), the promised (and spectacularly overhyped) text message went out, and Republicans and America-lovers across the world could breathe a sigh of relief. I am proud of you guys – all across RedState, not just on this thread, there was a notable lack of discussion and ridicule of Senator Joe Biden. We’d like to think that RedState had a hand in giving the Obama campaign some comfort in selecting Biden as a great choice – indeed the BEST choice for completing the Obama-Obama ticket.

NOW, let the games begin! This is just MADE. OUT. OF. FUN.]@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

With no further fanfare, here is the plaintext cyphertext (sorry, my bad):

RedStaters, we are in serious danger of overplaying
the current state of the election. McCain now has
a spectacular hand. The VP rumors of Joe Biden are a
problem, though, and the Dems know that for them this is a
supremely good thing. It is hard to fathom a better
pick for them, and we must counter with a powerful
choice for Republicans. RedState upon hearing the news,
is hard at work. Rumors of Fred abound, and RedState
has been running amok with unbridled joy. I confess, I
am caught up in the revery myself. One resident troll
commented “Please God, let it be Biden”. But here’s the
mystery – why is this not an obvious pick? We have a big
problem. In order to work with that, we really must
find a chink in the Biden armor. Further, we have to
discipline ourselves and hold off on the open mockery and
abuse of Hillary. It’s exceedingly hard to lay off the
derision of this spectacular idiot. It seems likely
though, that whoever we abuse, they wont pick. I think
this rumor is floated to evaluate the reaction, to see
whether Republicans fear a Hillary pick. Then
if it is a non-starter, to see if Biden is open to
accepting the pick. Biden is almost immune to
easy exploits. The obvious fact that he flunks the
‘dont pick a big-resume VP’ test doesnt count. The
‘easy exploits’ is just another example of how
the Dems try to turn our zeal against us. How very
tone-deaf they are. But hey, gift horse, and all that.
I still say the smart thing is to lay off Hillary.
So I implore you, fellow Republicans — please stop
beating on her – she’s great for us, and deserves
all the open (and deserved) derision of the moron
that we can heap on her: if you must, aim for
Joe Biden. Save your ammo. Frankly, if we at this time
don’t practice some self-discipline, we might
scare the Dems into another direction, he might pick Bill
Clinton – never mind, that’s illegal. But either Biden or
Richardson. A very, very bad thing, in my opinion.

Savvy?

Oh and Rush, that goes for you too.

[UPDATE: yes, if I chose, I could have left this forever encrypted, leaving Democrats, the Treason Media, and other leftist dirtbags to spend eternity just WONDERING what the secret communique was all about. But EPU is a benevolent cad – so here it is for all you LOSER DEMOCRATS:

RedStaters, we are in serious danger of overplaying
a spectacular hand. The VP rumors of Joe Biden are a
supremely good thing. It is hard to fathom a better
choice for Republicans. RedState upon hearing the news,
has been running amok with unbridled joy. I confess, I
commented “Please God, let it be Biden”. But here’s the
problem. In order to work with that, we really must
discipline ourselves and hold off on the open mockery and
derision of this spectacular idiot. It seems likely
this rumor is floated to evaluate the reaction, to see
if it is a non-starter, to see if Biden is open to
easy exploits. The obvious fact that he flunks the
‘easy exploits’ is just another example of how
tone-deaf they are. But hey, gift horse, and all that.
So I implore you, fellow Republicans — please stop
all the open (and deserved) derision of the moron
Joe Biden. Save your ammo. Frankly, if we at this time
scare the Dems into another direction, he might pick Bill
Richardson. A very, very bad thing, in my opinion.

Just so you know. Happy massive unsustainable blood loss!

]