New Secretary of The Cabinet named

In view of the lacking, and still being filled Cabinet of the new Administration, administration officials have announced the establishment of a new Secretary of the Cabinet.

The Secretary of the Cabinet will be responsible for ensuring that all of the members necessary to constitute a strong body that will fit together and maintain their intended function for the duration of the Administration.


Secretary of the Cabinet Designee Norm Abrams has promised to carefully trim around all the edges to minimize waste. He is bring with him, long time associate Rich Trethewey, who job it will be to make sure that nothing leaks without proper controls in place.  For those sure to be heated sessions of compromise and measure of character, a special relief program, called by Trethewey, “my Professional Relief Valve Program, where people get step out and let off some steam, without injuring anyone else’s reputation.” is being considered.


Abrams, long hailed as a folksy kind of guy, will have to reinvent himself for the new position. He has opened a new account at Brooks Brothers, replacing his nearly 20 year relationship with Lands End, in order to dress the part. “Flannel will be too hot to handle in Washington.” Abrams is looking forward to bring a vast array to tools to the new job. However, his most important tool, his safety glasses, never leave his face. “I don’t want to be blind-sided by something I didn’t see coming,” he said


Administration officials have admitted to being somewhat envious of some of the tools at Abrams has learned to master, but “We’re open to learning,” quipped an official close to the plan, who spoke on the condition of anonymity.


By the time Abrams finishes crafting the new cabinet, the only stains on his reputation is likely to be Cherry