Night Of The Long Faces Or "Mitt Happens"

Mr Faithful and Ms True collided with Mr & Mrs Hardin Colfax  last evening. Time of the encounter was fixed exactly at 8 pm Eastern Standard. It happened on The Trail.

Yes, at eight exactly grinning anchorbots screamed  “Romney Wins!!” Faithful and True also screamed. “Oh! Oh! How could they know so quickly??? The doors at the polling places have not yet been fully closed!” Faithful hit the remote. Another outlet but the same story. Even the same words! “Romney Wins” This was too much. Not only was the whole thing rigged, fixed, bought and paid for; but The Establishment was rubbing their noses in it! They didn’t even bother to write different scripts. Just “Romney Wins!” They think its funny!

“It’s a big darn circus,” Faithful whooped. Pure shook her head and had energy only to whisper, “That’s why they use the elephant! Oh Lord! It’s just a big circus.”

Earlier that same day two so called “respected” polls had indicated just this result: Romney Wins. How could they know? Unless it was a rig job, a fix job.

They’d been had…again. An election-so called had been carefully staged. People voted. ID’s were checked. It looked real but it couldn’t be. Billionaire Mitt Romney, a card-carrying Socialist! had been declared the victor on all the hundreds of channels at exactly eight pm Eastern Standard. Romney! His father made little kitty cars! His real name was Pablo Ramos, but he changed it when he entered the country illegally! Then he got rich and caused trouble. American cars were big gas hogs, he bleated. We need kitty cars!

To the computer! Faithful and Pure were angry and very sad too. Salty tears blurred their efforts to communicate with the like minded. Mistakes were made. A few hard cases studied the output. In the safe privacy of their own home they felt free to laugh.

They munched on their nothing burgers and said to no one in particular, “This doesn’t pass mustard!” They read that new theories were now required. Some complained that they were being played for clowns. Some opined that an old man was waving a bong at his cadre of crazies.

More than a few very nice HD flat screens bit the dust. And the owners later found the extra warrenty didn’t cover “abuse” Was throwing the chip-dip football helmet through the screen “abuse”? Yeah, probably. That’s a rigged up thing too. It was a tough night…and don’t you dare laugh!