A Silent, A Dignified, A Proper SOTU. Please.

And so the Speaker of the House taking his example from a Big Three Anchor should conduct tonight’s Obama re-elect er uh that is the President’s all-important State of the Union media event, no didn’t mean that; address was the word I was looking for.

This is far more important, and infinitely more solemn than any stinkin’ debate. It is more important and deserves far more attention than even the funeral of a philandering drunk….uh Lion of the Senate. And funereal is a proper tone at that. So an occasional sob or suppressed laughter politely made to sound like a shriek of grief is okey dokey too.

But Gosh Almighty Jeepers no applause to disrupt the SOTU. It’s too important. And comb your hair! Smile only if your teeth have been Cloroxed in the past two months! But no interruptions. It’s all too important; way too weighty for that. You mind now. Uncle Bri doesn’t want to use the bad wooden spoon.