Diary

Meet the Fleet: Obama's Super Tankers.

BS (Barack Shill) Chuck Todd. The NBC/MSNBC Political Director is an example of H.L.Mencken’s typical Washington reporter: “wouldn’t know the truth if it slapped them across the face.” This morning after writing the obit for the Cain candidacy he described a WH local TV event as “fascinating” Obama is fond of Todd in the same way a ventriloquist is fond of his dummy.

BS Politico. Proudly claims to be the second-coming of Pravda. It’s investigative unit bats under .200 but they do make a lot of errors. Politico is most proud of its lily-white male public face. Deeply offended by things that deeply offend them. Vast “go-to” book of secret sources.

BS Brezenzski. Works hard. Admits to falling down the stairs nearly killing her infant daughter who escaped with a broken thigh. This happened during a self-described goon-up brought on in part by deliberate sleep deprivation. According to her  book she totally lost it with her baby in the emergency room. She leveraged this and other episodes to be able to lecture others non-stop about their bad habits. Oddly while she doesn’t sleep she induces sleep. Admits to getting her on air talking points direct and in real time from the WH.

BS Bob Lloyd Schieffer. Prides himself on the purity of his bias. Recently tried to interview Herman Cain, but was unable to pretend to be a journalist for even a quarter hour. Went berserk about smoking. It wasn’t pretty as the superannuated old buzzard wound up shouting at Cain like a plantation overseer.

BS Eugene Robinson. His adenoids are so large your eyes will water. Former beat reporter who got promoted to his level of incompetence. Friends call him the Cheshire Cat.

BS Olbermann. Current position unknown.

BS New York Times. The ol’ gray lady. Once the champ of the fleet, but then came steam power and the iron clad. Always sails to Port. Full Port.

BS Rev Al. Spiritual leader of the fleet. Was ordained at seven after getting his D.Theo. Early in his career aligned himself with Tawana Brawley, a teenager who smeared dog poop on herself and blamed the cops. Al recalls the whole affair very fondly. He learned that lying is very profitable. Never forgets it.

BS Michelle. The FLOTUS! What a great name for a super tanker, actually a luxury liner. Shops at Target and when she can’t find “regular folks” $600 sneakers finds the right store, the one the photographers can’t visit. Proud to be a citizen of the republic since hubby became POTUS. Before that she was angry and upset.