Diary

The Top 20 Most Cringeworthy Woke Happenings of 2020, Part 2

Photo by Greg Allen/Invision/AP

Now, onto the top 10:

#10. Mazie Hirono- This is one piece of work hailing from Hawaii and actually sits in the United States Senate.  Back in 2018 during the Kavanaugh hearing, she said Supreme Court nominees do not have a presumption of innocence because they are not in a court of law.  Seriously…she said that.  But that was two years ago.  This year, she achieved the impossible when she declared that the phrase “sexual orientation” was “offensive and outdated.”  “So what?” you may ask.  Within days of Hirono’s assertion, the Merriam-Webster Dictionary flagged the term as “offensive” in their online edition.  Now, that is double wokeness at its finest!

#9. Land-O-Lakes Butter: Who knew that butter could be so racist?  The company that puts out the butter decided to change the packaging which featured a demure Native American woman with the name “Mia” which sounds suspiciously Spanish which may be a case of cultural appropriation, but I digress.  Instead, she was removed and as one Native American artist mentioned “they got rid of the Indian and kept the land.”  Now that has to burn.

Also getting makeovers in 2020: Aunt Jemima syrup, that Quaker dude on oatmeal cartons, and that black chef apparently named Uncle Ben on rice boxes.

#8. Statues-  There is a new trend in art.  Instead of building sculptures or painting pictures, a new trend swept the nation’s cities in a unique form of deconstructivist art: toppling statues.  Those were not protesters tearing down the statues in Portland, Chicago, or Seattle.  They were a roving band of street artists.  What else explains why they would destroy a statue of a deer in Portland or Abraham Lincoln, Teddy Roosevelt, or Christopher Columbus elsewhere?  Their indiscriminate destruction was actually a form of art.

#7. Peaceful riots- Ignore that smoke and fire in the background, the CNN reporter will tell you.  That iconic vision of the reporter standing in front of a burning building in Kenosha, Wisconsin while the chyron said “fiery but mostly peaceful protests” will forever be burned into the minds of people.  Then again, maybe CNN was just following in the footsteps of that intrepid MSNBC reporter, Ali Velshi, who described the riots and looting in Minneapolis as “…not, generally speaking, unruly” as not generally speaking unruly people looted the store in the background.  Incidentally, rioting, looting and arson are considered, generally speaking, unruly actions in the civilized world.

#6. YELP- Just when you thought it could not get worse for struggling small businesses and restaurants, along comes Yelp.  They managed to actually encourage the worst impulses in the woke by slapping a “business accused of racist behavior alert” on customer reviews.  Of course, their definition of racist behavior is never stated.  They even partnered with a fellow virtue signaler- “Open To All-” which provides diversity training and decals for establishments and is likely behind those obnoxious “Hate Does Not Live Here” lawn signs which could be very confusing if the homeowner’s name is “Hate.”

#5. HBO Max- If Disney can slap a warning on Dumbo (I still cannot fathom the reason for that… fat shaming an elephant?) HBO can do the same for adults who can actually read the warning. They managed to place a warning on the classic Gone With the Wind because…  Then, as cities burned and BLM took them over, they pulled the movie off the air altogether.  You know that the Star Wars franchise is next for their depiction of gold, gay robots.

#4. Alec Baldwin’s Wife- Hillaria Baldwin, the wife of super jerk actor Alec Baldwin, is really hilariously Hillary.  The actor showed how woke he was by marrying a Spanish woman who happened to be born in Boston as Hillary Hayward Thomas and her parents moved to Spain in 2011.  She still insists the fake Spanish accent is very much real which makes her a better actress than Baldwin is an actor.  Hillary managed to merge hypocrisy, acting and cultural appropriation into one delusion.  That is quite woke.

#3. The NBA- In a sport where racism is not born out by the statistics, wokeness and virtue signaling reached new heights.  This collection of half-wits, overpaid, pampered pimps of social justice wore cute slogans on their jerseys and had “BLM” splattered all over the courts.  The face of the NBA and the woke among them- LeBron James- a ridiculously wealthy man who gets paid to dribble and shoot an orange orb- belittled himself with that “Say Her Name” t-shirt and his Wakanda salute when Chadwick Boseman died.  James probably believes Wakanda is an actual country.

#2.  The Imagine video: Imagine you are a super-wealthy celebrity living in a spacious mansion while in the outside world real people are suffering unimaginable pains, loss of jobs and freedoms all in response to a pandemic.  You call up some of your other wealthy celebrity friends and decide it would be good to make a video of your cadre of friends singing that nauseating John Lennon song, “Imagine.”  Thinking it’s a good idea, you put it out there on social media.  The unsuspecting, suffering masses happen upon it and are thrown into fitful rages of vomiting and imagine they contract the Wuhan flu- a fate better than suffering through the video.  That’s how bad it really is, but there is one even worse…

#1. The “I Take Responsibility” video: A collection of imbeciles- a/k/a celebrities and Hollywood types who earn extravagant sums of money portraying people they are not- decided to read words on a camera decrying how much they hate racism and take responsibility as part of the problem, such that it exists, because of a “not so funny joke, every unfair stereotype…”  This collection of “entertainers” had viewers asking one thing: “Who are these people?” 

This is the pinnacle of wokeness not likely to be outdone in the near future.  Then again, never underestimate the woke social justice warrior since they never cease to amaze.  After all, 2021 is a whole new slate of 365 days to sink to further depths of craziness.