Diary

The Woke Diaries #5

Dear diary: a lot has happened since my last entry.  The President tested positive for some Chinese flu, there was a debate between Mike Pence and Kamala Harris, and documents proving a provable coup attempt against Trump have come to light.  But, the social justice weirdos continue to march on.

A “White Supremacist” Group Led By a Cuban/African-American?

I heard that Joe Biden thinks President Trump is a “white supremacist” and that there is some group called the Proud Boys.  They show up sometimes, protest, fly American flags and then go home.  Biden thinks they’re a white supremacist group.  Then I found out their leader is this guy named Enrique Tarrio, which doesn’t sound very white to me.  Then I found out he is of Cuban and African-American descent!  Wow!  Maybe he’s like that “Black Klansman” character from the movie.

Zooming Towards Thanksgiving

The CDC is warning families that the ultimate family holiday- Thanksgiving- may just have to be a virtual holiday this year.  They suggest no big family meals or get-togethers and that you leave the grandparents at home and connect via the Internet.  If they are to join the virtual meal, make it at home, drop it off at their doorstep, ring the doorbell, and run like hell.  As for the actual meal, eat outside because apparently the virus has an aversion to the outdoors…just like humans have an aversion to eating outside when the temperature is in the 30’s which seems to happen in many parts of the country in late November.  And for God sakes- wear a mask!

Speaking of Masks…

The esteemed governor of California, Gavin Newsom, has some advice for those who venture out to eat at a restaurant.  He suggested that one wears a mask between bites.  Of course, that whole dilemma can be resolved by some entrepreneur who can create and patent a human feed bag, much like the ones used by horses.  If Joe Biden can eat his prepared oatmeal wearing one, so can the brave souls who put their life at risk by eating at a restaurant!

What Goes Around Comes Around

Seems that one company in Washington- Boeing- is voting with their feet, tax dollars, and employees.  They announced that they are moving the production of their 787 Dreamliner from Washington to South Carolina.  This brought a swift rebuke from governor Jay Inslee who demanded that they move operations back to Washington “when the market for airplanes comes back.”  Someone forgot to tell him that he holds no sway over Boeing and where they produce airplanes.  Poor Jay- couldn’t connect as a presidential candidate and now losing a ton of Boeing employees and money.

Maybe We Need More of This

Noha Kassab is an immigrant who came to the United States in search of the American dream and found it when they opened a jewelry store in downtown Portland.  On May 30th, rioters broke into his store and as everyone knows, one needs some bling to be a fashionable “peaceful protester.”  The store suffered an estimated $2.5 million in damages and theft.  Now Ms. Kassab is suing the city for failing to protect her business.  Given the actions of the Portland “leadership,” she may just have a case.

Now This Sounds Rather Extreme

Nathan Jun is a philosophy professor at Midwestern University located in Illinois.  Said the learned professor on Facebook:

I want the entire world to burn until the last cop is strangled with the intestines of the last capitalist, who in turn is strangled with the intestines of the last politician.

The university declined to reprimand the professor, saying the thought was expressed privately through social media (?) while Facebook seems to have no problem leaving the posting up.

Another Kooky Professor Story

At Oregon State University, Susan Shaw drew upon her vast scientific background to reach a startling conclusion: the wildfires that plagued the West were the fault of white Christians.  The reason?  White Christians are more apt to deny the existence of climate change.  This, of course, makes a huge assumption that wildfires are caused by climate change, not arsonists or a tossed cigarette butt out a window.  Ms. Shaw, by the way, is a professor not of climatology, physics, or any other scientific field of study but “Women, Gender, and Sexuality Studies.”