While Biden hides in the bunker and cannot muster 30 people to fill a Zoom virtual convention screen, refuses to take questions and has lost the ability to read a Teleprompter, among oddsmakers and pollsters, Trump got a bounce from an acceptance speech in front of a live audience, despite their faces uncovered with “Biden feedbags,” and such blatant violations of the Hatch Act. Obviously, 2020 is not a done deal, but let’s look forward to 2024 to see who may be likely candidates for both parties assuming Trump doesn’t rip up the Constitution and appoint himself President-for-life. After all, Putin basically did that and what’s to stop Putin’s puppet from doing the same? All sarcasm aside, let’s look at some people on both sides.
First up, the top five Democrats mentioned in a very unscientific sampling of the Internet from the Left, Right, middle, foreign and domestic.
#5. Georgia Something or Other, Stacy Abrams
For the life of me, I don’t understand what the Democrats see in this heifer, unless qualifications were based on grams of fat. Two years later, she is still under the delusion she’s the governor or Georgia. But, when you’re a Democrat and you have the correct skin pigment and genitalia, no matter how much covered up in fat, that makes you a “contendah.”
#4. Mayor Pete Buttigieg
That title is his problem- mayor. It’s hard to translate mayoral or local political experience to the top job in the country. Otherwise, we might have more dog catchers running for President. Does being a mayor qualify you as an “outsider?” He made a splash early on in 2020, then succumbed to the party bosses who thought Biden would be a better choice. Maybe another four years of seasoning and preparing the landscape for a First Significant Other in the White House is on tap.
#3. New York governor and killer of the elderly, Andrew Cuomo
Cuomo won’t have the Wuhan flu and his response to “tout” in 2024, but New York will probably still be locked down as he kills off the elderly population in nursing homes. He will be bringing a lot of progressive baggage into the race and how well Trump squelches it over the next four years will determine his fate. I know one CNN personality who would be all shits-and-giggles over the possibility. Who knows? Maybe he could do what dad couldn’t, but rest assured we’ll be hearing about Italian-American dogwhistles and Fredo will throw you down the steps.
#2. America’s Progressive Sweetheart, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez
She’s young and about as liberal as they come. She would be eligible since she would turn 35 less than a month before Election Day 2024. It would also make her the youngest candidate ever. The current title belongs to William Jennings Bryan who ran at age 36. However, Bryan had significantly more achievements under his belt by age 36 even though he didn’t have bug-eyed, horse-toothed videos on social media. Don’t laugh this one off because 2022 comes sooner and a run against Schumer for the Senate may be a temporary stepping stone. Could this be the end of the Chuckie franchise? Or will it be Chuckie’s Revenge, the seventh episode in the franchise?
#1. Willie Brown’s Mistress, Kamala Harris
It’s the logical choice given the fact she’s Joe Biden’s VP choice. With Biden obviously too old- even if he lives to 2024- Harris positioned herself for 2024. Although doubtful, she may even be the incumbent. The question then becomes: do the Democrats want to offer up yet another loser?
Honorable mentions: There are no honorable Democrats.
Now, onto the Republicans which had more names mentioned (30) compared to Democrats (19).
#5. Pick ’em (a tie)- Josh Hawley, Marco Rubio, or Ted Cruz
I can see any of them throwing their hat in the ring. Hawley has been making noise in the Senate, Rubio is charismatic with good one-liners and a quick thinker (provided he has a bottle of water on hand), and Ted Cruz is a good Twitter troll, is a great debater, and is bright. If I had to pick just one, I’d put money on Hawley.
#4. The Carrier of the Name, Donald Trump, Jr.
He ranks up there with his dad, but Americans have an aversion to political dynasties unless you are from Massachusetts and your last name is Kennedy in which case you can drown your secretary and walk away from it unscathed. I don’t see it (nor Ivanka) and see him going back to the Trump Organization and raking in a nice paycheck. But…the dude is loyal!
#3. Secretary of State, Mike Pompeo
Warning: the last time a politician turned Secretary of State ran for President… Of course, Pompeo does not use a private server to conduct Department business, doesn’t have a Pompeo Foundation, and no ambassadors have been killed by terrorists on his watch. I personally do not believe his RNC speech helped him all that much; I’ve seen better speeches from him. Still, if he can broker some Mideast deals and deal with China, that speaks louder. Let’s see what he does in a second Trump administration if he stays on.
#2. Vice President Mike Pence
This is the traditional fallback in politics, but it does not work out all that well given the propensity of voters to switch parties every eight years in the White House UNLESS things are really, super cool and good. In those cases, the VP is the voice of continuity. Hence, Pence’s chances depend solely on Trump’s successes and given the anticipated mini-civil war likely after Trump’s reelection, I can’t see it. Instead, I see #TheResistance 2.0 on steroids.
#1. Nikki Haley
First question, why did she Americanize her name? Just kidding… I do not think she did anything to hurt her chances this year at the RNC convention. She comes across as rational and reasoned. But consider this: if she were to run against Harris in 2024, that would split the all important female Southern Asian vote since they can both trace their family roots to India. Interesting, eh? Keep a watch on her over the next four years. Here’s an interesting ticket: Haley/Noem in 2024. Can you imagine the campaign slogans?
Honorable mentions: Ron DeSantis (?) and Larry Hogan (oh, hell no!).
Still and all, let’s get this one down and make sure we put a political stake through the heart of the walking dead, Joe Biden. Vote and if you’re a Democrat, vote often.