Put A Nail in the Coughin'

AP Photo/Jeff Chiu

Common colds and the regular old non-Wuhan flu are a pain in the butt.  The chills, the fever, the hacking up a lung, and worse- the taste of Nyquil- are no picnic.  No matter how much we tell people to cough or sneeze into the crook of their arm and wash their hands, there are always people out there who failed to grasp the basics on disease transmission mitigation.  One can sort of understand it in a kindergarten-age kid, but certainly not adults.

While there is plenty to rant about regarding the Wuhan virus, obnoxious celebrities sharing their “stress” is one of them. The Internet is currently a cesspool of people who think they know how this started and how it will end.  But, there is an even worse trend out there.  Now, it appears that filming oneself on one’s iPhone coughing at people then uploading the video has gone, excuse me, viral.

Speak about empty lives!  You are a true loser if you film yourself coughing on someone in the hopes of a few YouTube views.  Such people are the bottom dwellers of human existence and should be shipped off to some modern-day Molokai Island.  Better yet, they should surrender both lungs so they can be used by someone more worthy of life.

Consider, for your enjoyment, these following acts by pieces of human fecal matter:

  • a 26-year-old man has been arrested and charged with making terroristic threats for licking food items at a Walmart while saying “Who’s afraid of the coronavirus?,” then uploading the video to YouTube
  • a man has been arrested after coughing on both food and people at a supermarket while recording himself
  • a group of juveniles in Virginia were arrested for coughing on supermarket produce and uploading the videos to social media
  • another man is facing charges after reportedly laughing while coughing in an elderly, mask-wearing man’s face at a supermarket and telling him he has the coronavirus
  • in Pennsylvania, a grocery store had to discard $35,000 worth of produce after some idiot decided to cough all over it in a “twisted prank

If this “prank” only happened in some town in northeastern Pennsylvania, that would be one thing, but similar cases have popped up in New Jersey, New Mexico, Texas and North Carolina.

Police, who are also on the front lines of the Wuhan virus, have likewise come under attack when people are not coughing on produce, licking freezer doors at the local Dollar Tree, lapping up a toilet seat, or other inhuman behaviors.  There are cases out of New Jersey, Texas, and Florida where drivers pulled over for reckless or drunk driving have coughed in the face of a police officer and claimed they have coronavirus.

Some obese person in a Maryland hospital suffering from Covid-19 coughed deliberately at a security officer and others, then said he did not care if they got sick because nobody cared about him.  We have all heard about the case of the doctor in Connecticut not practicing “social distancing” by hugging and kissing nurses.  But, one guesses you did not hear about the Rhode Island school teacher who Tweeted she would pay people with the Wuhan virus to cough on President Trump.

There was one good viral video out there from a Detroit bus driver who said:

We out here as public workers, doing our jobs, trying to make an honest living to take care of our families, but for you to get on the bus and stand on the bus and cough several times without covering up your mouth…that lets me know that some folks don’t care. Utterly don’t give a f***, excuse my language.

It was a video with a commonsense message, but a sad ending.  He died two weeks later from coronavirus.

Some claim that there are genuine acts of human kindness in the wake of the Wuhan virus, and there surely are those stories out there, sometimes highlighted on these very pages.  Unfortunately, there are also many stories like those cited in this article that once you think something good may come of this, you shake your head and say, “Nah!”

Perhaps we should take a cue from the gentleman in this clip when one deliberately coughs in the face of anyone because today, a punch in the face is certainly less deadly than a cough.  Anyone who thinks it is funny to film oneself coughing on others- whether in the coronavirus context or just generally- especially in the hopes of 15 seconds of fame needs to be shipped off to Antarctica- naked and with no food.