The following are the four best stories from the past month that encapsulate the finest in social justice hypocrisy, banality, stupidity, and hopefulness, plus one goofy headline from across the pond.
Is the Awards Season Over Yet?
With the awards season in high gear, it’s time for the social justice warriors of Hollywood and the music industry to go before a microphone and spout ridiculous comments. Joaquin Phoen at one show apologized for being white and said he was part of “the problem-” you know…white privilege and all that. With whites apologizing for being white, you would think blacks would give it a rest.
But Diddy, formerly known as P. Diddy, formerly known as Puff Daddy, formerly known as Sean “Puffy” Combs, formerly known as just Sean John Combs delivered a speech at a Grammy luncheon where he was given a Lifetime Achievement Award. Attended by such luminaries as people with equally silly names- Jay-Z, Beyonce, Cardi B, Ma$e, and Lil Kim- Diddy launched into a tirade about the Grammy’s not respecting black music, specifically hip-hop. After the luncheon, Diddy cracked his whip and his white chauffeur drove him back to his million dollar mansion. Such oppression…
Common Phrases You Never Knew Were Actually Racial Slurs, So Just Shut the Hell Up
According to a South Tampa website, patch.com, the following are racial slurs because… well, just because. Don’t yell “hip hip hurray” because that is based on the 1919 German anti-Semitic chant “hep hep” which actually led to riots back then. You can never again be “sold down the river” because black slaves were sold down the river…literally. The “peanut gallery” is also out because that phrase derives from the cheap seats in theaters often occupied by blacks and people in the rich seat (i.e., whites) would throw down peanut shells. And “long time, no see” actually dates back to a 1901 book where a Native American used the phrase when meeting some paleface. I’m not quite sure, but I think it involves something about genocide and Manifest Destiny. Whatever- just avoid these phrases…they’re racist!
Vasectomies for All
An Alabama state representative- a rather obese black woman who wears blond wigs- introduced a bill that would require that all males over the age of 50 get a vasectomy within one month of their 50th birthday. What got under her wig? Alabama’s restrictive abortion law where she said that the state is restricting the reproductive rights of women, but not men. Factually this is false since males have no say in the disposition of the babies they create. Regardless, some unsolicited advice: just don’t vote for obese women of color who wear blond wigs.
Proving There Might Still Be Justice in the World
Last year, gay black actor Jussie Smollett, perpetuated the greatest hate crime hoax of all time. Many white people fell for it, but most blacks didn’t…except for Kim Foxx, the Cook County State attorney, who promptly dropped all charges against him. Smollett was recently indicted on six charges alleging he lied to police, and disorderly conduct. The two Nigerians whom he paid to perpetuate the hoax hope he tells the truth this time. So do we all. Honestly, the whole story smelled from the start as if two MAGA hat-wearing people are going to be out on the coldest night in Chicago just itching to find some D-list black celebrity…
Headline of the Month and Proof the World is Going to Hell in a Hand Basket
From The Sun tabloid in merry old England: Balding Prince Harry Visits Top Hair Loss Clinic in London’s Mayfair.