Time for another installment of the demented, daft, distraught and delirious social justice warriors and their battles in the culture wars.
So Much for Brown vs. Board of Education
A survey my the National Association of Scholars has found that at least 75 colleges have black-only graduation ceremonies and that 43% of all colleges offer segregated residential halls. Somewhere, Ruby Bridges is saying, “WTF?”
A Tubman Snub
Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin finally answered that gnawing question on the minds of all Americans: when would Andrew Jackson be purged from the $20 bill and replaced by Harriet Tubman? The answer: due to design flaws, possibly some time in 2028. Of course, the social justice warriors picked up their weapon of choice- a smart phone- and called out the Twitter Brigade to protest this racist action. So you;ll have to wait for those Tubman greenbacks possibly late in the second term of Pence’s administration.
In 2013, Obama promised the UN he would take in refugees from the African nation of Congo. Since October, 2014 the United States has taken in over 49,000 such refugees. By far, the state most chosen for resettlement is Texas. The chances of them becoming future Democratic voters stands somewhere near 95%.
When the “OK” Hand Signal Costs Over $53,000
Administrators were appalled to find 18 photos in a high school yearbook where students were flashing the “OK” sign with their fingers. The Thought Police, working on a tip from 4Chan pranksters, determined that the photos had to be deleted and burned in the memory hole lest someone be offended. Hence, they decided to spend $53,794 to do just that. Today, if you wore black face 35 years ago in a yearbook, but support killing babies, you may lose your job as governor of Virginia; 35 years from now shooting the “OK” hand sign in a yearbook could get you executed.
White Men Don’t Eat Cauliflower
A close cousin to being called “racist” is being called “colonial” because that implies something all social justice Leftists hate: Western civilization. In a recnt video tour of a community garden, that fountainhead of knowledge- Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez- said growing vegetables like cauliflower is deterring POCs from growing more ethnic vegetables like yucca, or whatever. Says the bard of the Bronx, things like cauliflower perpetuates a colonial attitude. Well…cauliflower is white. Perhaps we can take a cue from 43% of colleges and have separate planting areas for colonial and non-colonial crops.
Alladin is Racist…Because Trump
Released on Friday, the Disney live-action rendition of Alladin has upset CAIR- the Council on American Islamic Relations. Why? Let CAIR Executive Director Nihad Awad explain:
The Aladdin myth is rooted by racism, Orientalism and Islamophobia…To release it during the Trump era of rapidly rising anti-Muslim, anti-immigrant and racist animus only serves to normalize stereotyping and to marginalize minority communities.
To release it without Robin Williams (bless him) is a crime against humanity.
Big Brother’s Fourth Maxim
It appears that Orwell’s Big Brother maxims of “War is Peace, Freedom is Slavery, Ignorance is Strength” was only three-quarters correct. According to a headline in the New York Times, “Pregnancy Kills, Abortion Saves Lives.” This must be true since the Times only publishes “all the news that’s fit to print,” right?