Promoted from the diaries by streiff. Promotion does not imply endorsement.
This week’s edition of this series has it all: we find out that antifa is an “African-American organization,” we have pee and poop stories, transexual Governor wannabes, dead lobsters and bras for men!
Idiot of the Week
In response to President Trump’s recent criticism of the domestic terrorist group antifa, resident CNN analyst and certifiable moron Jeffrey Toobin had this to say:
Let’s be clear also about what’s going on here: the theme here is ‘I’m Donald Trump and I’ll protect you from the scary black people… Antifa is widely perceived as an African-American organization.
Nobody other than a nobody at the low-rated news outlet of CNN perceives antifa as “an African-American group.” In fact, most of its members seem to be as white as Toobin, likely live in their parent’s basement, read Mao’s Little Red Book, wear Che T-shirts, and like to break the windows of the nearest Starbucks out of sexual frustration.
And Going for the Sympathy Vote…
Democrats were all back-slapping happy in the name of diversity when David, er… Christine Hallquist won the Vermont primary in an effort to become the nation’s first transgender Governor. In an effort to bolster his/her chances of victory in November, the Corey Feldman in drag (doubt me? Check this out) look alike is claiming they are receiving death threats. Has Vermont become so weird that they would elect this dude/gal?
What Is It About the Left and Poop?
Leftist policies have transformed San Francisco into a human cesspool. Last week, your’s truly brought you the story of ecosexuals and defecating in nature. Then there is that iconic picture of the Occupy Wall Street dude taking it to the man by defecating on a police car. Now comes word that during a performance by alleged comedian David Cross (formerly of “Arrested Development”), he wants to beat President Trump to a bloody pulp and then defecate on him. I have a theory…. Read on!
What Is It About the Left and Pee Pee?
Probably the most salacious allegation in the Steele dossier is that Trump ordered Russian prostitutes to urinate on the bed Obama once slept upon. Now comes word that a 60-year-old white man in Grand Rapids, Michigan was arrested for urinating on a 5-year-old black child and using racial slurs while relieving himself. The local NAACP demanded that he be charged with a hate crime. Except facts got in the way. It was later determined that a 7-year-old play friend actually did the peeing and they concocted the story to avoid responsibility. Add this to the growing list of hate crime hoaxes.
Now for my theory: Leftists suffer from poor potty training. They are stuck in what Freud would call the anal stage of psychosexual development.
Another Celebrity Calls for Impeachment
Patton Oswalt is a pudgy little man who would make for a great troll living under a bridge in a film adaptation of the “Billy Goats Gruff.” The former “King of Queens” “star,” recently penned an op-ed where he used words like “puerile,” “tiller of statecraft,” and “libidinal pleasure.” He then went the opposite way and basically told Trump supporters to “F**k off.” The op-ed ends with a link to a petition demanding Congress to impeach Trump.
A New Fashion Statement?
One is not quite sure of the point of this, but an Australian company is marketing sexy, lacy bras and panties… for men. To see their online sales pitch, go here. The matching bras and panties are “for the male who wants to wear something a little more sexy under his clothes.” I swear… I don’t make these things up!
And Finally… PETA Strikes Again
Last week, I discussed the loony animal rights people and their victory in the great Animal Crackers box controversy of 2018. This week they’re back and want to erect a 5-foot tombstone at the site of a seafood truck crash on Route 1 in Maine that left an unspecified number of lobsters dead. But why stop with lobsters killed in deadly vehicle crashes? What about the hundreds of deer, squirrels and raccoon pedestrian fatalities every year?