Promoted from the diaries by streiff. Promotion does not imply endorsement.
This is a continuation of a series this writer started more than a year ago. I know that because this is literally part 59 and a year has 52 weeks. Presenting one jerk of the week and six other stories of interest of the best and brightest your social justice activists have to offer punctuated with snarky language at times, I bring you the culture wars…
Jerk of the Week
It is a truly a sad commentary when CNN anchor Chris Cuomo may be the more intelligent of the Cuomo brothers, the other being New York Governor Andrew Cuomo. On a visit to Puerto Rico, which is nowhere near New York, he declared that President Trump is waging a “jihad” on illegal immigrants. This is a strange twist on Godwin’s law and perhaps it is time to amend that rule beyond just Nazis and include jihadists also.
Getting Medieval on Your Butt
In anticipation of a 2019 meeting of the International Congress of Medieval Scholars (can you believe such a group exists?), one group of scholars- BABEL– is taking exception to the forum and agenda. What has gotten up the arse of these scholars, you may ask? Let them explain:
The first is that there seems to be a bias against, or lack of interest in, sessions that are self-critical of medieval studies, or focused on the politics of the field in the present, especially relative to issues of decoloniality, globalization, and anti-racism.
They even used a seldom-used word- decoloniality- to prove a point. Yes- it long past due we study knights in armor who happen to be people of color.
The Trump Star and Its Attacker
In a related story, Trump’s star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame was recently vandalized and destroyed by an attacker named Austin Clay, who was arrested and charged and later released. Said the self-righteous social justice warrior:
I just felt really passionate because of what happened with the immigrants and him stripping children away from their parents…And that just sort of set me off. I think Donald Trump represents everything that everybody with half a brain and half a heart in this country resents…I think I did, like, a real good act…Personally, I don’t feel resentful. I feel proud of myself.
Apparently, this has drawn praise from the likes of Robert DeNiro, Chelsea Handler and Mark Hamill. A GoFundMe page raised over $2,000 for the vandal. (Get it? See how “vandal” ties in with medieval studies?)
San Francisco to Ban Lunches?
Not satisfied with the banning of plastic drinking straws in San Francisco, not to mention the pounds of human excrement and hypodermic needles on their streets, they are now considering banning employee cafeterias in places of employment. Using zoning and health codes, they are reacting to restaurant owners who say they cannot compete with these free employee cafeterias. One supervisor in San Francisco said it was only the beginning of the conversation. Um… banning something seems to be the end of a conversation, but then again, I don’t know San Franciscospeak.
A few short months ago, Governor Phil Scott- a Republican Governor in the Soviet Socialist Republic of Vermont- was riding high among all Governors in terms of approval. In fact, he was rated #3 in the country overall!! He now finds himself precariously close to the bottom ten. What caused this drop in approval? The Governor signed three gun control bills into law in 2018. The legislation increased the purchase age to 21, created background checks for private sales, banned bump stocks, and limited magazine capacity for hand guns and rifles.
Flippy and the Fight for $15
Flippy is a robot at Dodgers Stadium that makes hamburgers- lots of them. Now, he is adding the popular chicken fingers to his repertoire. He made his debut earlier at a restaurant only to get stage fright, but those bugs have been worked out. Now, he is happily flipping burgers and making chicken tenders at the stadium. He(?) is simply a new trend in fast food. So remember: the fight for a $15 minimum wage is a fight for more Flippys.
Want to Get Away From the Kids for a Couple Weeks?
Nestled in the Berkshire Mountains of Massachusetts, Kinderland is one camp I’m sure you’ll be checking out for your kids next year. For a fee, they can sleep in a bunk named after a social justice warrior like Karl Marx, Joan Baez, or Che. No word whether groups of cabins are called gulags.
At the end of camp, teams named after such luminaries as Black Lives Matter, the Bolsheviks or Khmer Rouge compete in the Peace Olympics. These fun and games include not only sack races, swimming and rowing competitions, but also mural design, poetry and art projects regarding their assigned team’s name. In the interest of equity, everyone gets a First Place trophy.
Did I mention the camp is also so inclusive that they respect your child’s chosen gender identity? That should make for some interesting panty raids.
That’s it for now. Catch you next time as we descend into the bowels of the mind of the Leftist social justice warrior.