Proving once again that the culture wars know no bounds in madness and asininity, I am proud to once again grace the pages of RedState with the seven most ridiculous events- some that may have been covered in more depth here and others maybe not so- in no particular order of interest or importance. Now, how is that for a run-on sentence?
WHY WON’T SHE JUST GO AWAY?
Like a bad recurring nightmare, Lena Dunham has returned yet again to this series. This time it is about “body shaming.” Dunham asserts that all bets are off when it comes to Donald Trump. According to this moron of the Left, it is not OK to body shame anyone other than the President.
I’ll give her the bad comb-over that looks like a bleached blond squirrel took up residence on Trump’s head if she gives me the fact that Obama’s ears were unusually large for his head. More importantly, Ms. Dunham needs to look in a mirror before she endorses body shaming anyone.
CAPITALISM MEETS FEMINISM
The Women’s March- YES! It is now an organization- which means that we are likely to hear more rants from Ashley Judd come next whenever- is holding its Inaugural Women’s Convention in beautiful downtown Detroit. And for the low, low price of $295, you too can attend this disgruntled group of harpies who will discuss civil rights, abortion, immigration, and how to fight racism.
Students, presumably future graduates of some Gender Studies program ensuring them employment at the local retail mall, can attend for $125/person. If your “woke” employer is paying, then they stiff “the man” for $365. Children under 12 can get in free, so be sure to bring your pre-adolescent child. If you are age 12-18, then you get the student discount.
The shindig will cover such issues as “reproductive justice” (psst… killing babies), the “most misogynistic presidential administration in decades” (psst…it’s not Hillary), and how to raise funds (psst…its all about the $$$).
If you have purchased a ticket and cannot attend, the March cannot refund your money. They suggest you give the ticket to someone else and they pay you back. Hmmm… seems kinda like a Women’s March loophole to me.
THE GRAND POOBAH HAS SPOKEN
At the Pennsylvania Women’s Conference- not be confused with the Women’s March Conference scheduled for the end of the month- the former First Lady (Michelle Obama) had her unique take on politics. She claimed that the GOP has too many men who happen to be white. Therefore, the solution to all things in America is to have more women and non-white Republicans. Then, and only then according to MO, will we achieve Utopia.
Of course, the distinguished ex-First Lady failed to mention that black Republicans are usually called racial slurs and women, unless they believe that women can indiscriminately kill babies, are some subspecies of female. According to her, the GOP being too white and too male means ““it’s hard to come up with the right answer [to the problems of minorities] when you haven’t lived it.”
Thanks for the advice, MO…
MICHAEL MOORE’S 99th DREAM
The rather rotund Michael Moore has proposed a 28th Amendment to the Constitution which states:
A well regulated State National Guard, being helpful to the safety and security of a State in times of need, along with the strictly regulated right of the people to keep and bear a limited number of non-automatic Arms for sport and hunting, with respect to the primary right of all people to be free from gun violence, this shall not be infringed.
At least this corpulent piece of human flesh is allowing us to keep some non-automatic Arms. But there is “moore.” Before a man can purchase a firearm, he must first get a waiver from his wife, former-wife or significant other. They must also submit to a mental health screening, pass a criminal background check, complete a gun safety course and keep your firearm at a registered firing range. He actually calls this “sane” legislation.
Perhaps we pass a 29th Amendment also which would preclude all elephantine morons from suggesting Constitutional amendments. Or restricting their monthly intake of industrial size bags of potato chips to one.
YOU GOTTA LOVE TEXAS
In August, Lee High School in Texas decided to change its name because of Robert E. Lee, the Confederacy, and a Civil War that the South lost over a century ago. The school board decided to open suggestions to the public and some of the proposed names are classic:
- Heinrich Himler High
- Snowflake High School
- The School for Cowardly, Panty-Wetting PC Fairies
- Cry Baby High
- Jar Jar Binks High School
- L.E.E. (Legacy of Excellence in Education)
- This Is Why Trump Won High
- Remember the Alamo High School
My favorite? Schooly McSchoolface High School.
Texas… don’t ever change!!!
THE GREAT MSU SHOELACE CAPER SOLVED
Michigan State University was aflutter after a student reported finding a noose on her dorm room door handle. This led the university to investigate this alleged hate crime with all the veracity as if a dead body was found. The college president declared that this type of behavior was never to be tolerated on campus and praised the student for reporting this atrocity.
The crack campus police and office of “equity” were dispatched to find the heinous perpetrator. It appears that some poor student lost a pair of shoe laces in the dorm and some passerby picked them up and instead of discarding them, hung them on the door handle of the room which they thought lost them.
Thankfully, the campus cops were able to even find the poor guy who lost his shoe laces and the noose in question has been returned to its rightful owner. The students of Michigan State University can rest easier tonight knowing this hate crime has been solved.
THE ABSENCE OF TEARS IS PALPABLE
Twice now, late night’s Jimmy Kimmel has fought back tears while his voice crackled in an attempt to claim the mantle of America’s conscience. Seth Myers whose monologues drip with not sarcasm, but hatred of anything conservative, chose not to wade into the subject. Colbert, who was once funny, lives for these stories.
BUT, late night comedy was surprisingly silent about revelations that one of their own- Harvey Weinstein- and Democratic mega-donor is an apparent serial sexual harasser. When news broke about Bill O’Reilly and the fact he was taking a vacation, Kimmel- in a rare feat of not crying- wished that vacation was to hell. Compared to things Weinstein is accused of, O’Reilly comes out looking saintly.
At least one late night “comedian” had the balls to say something- Noah Trevor. But then again, he had to meld the Weinstein story into the Cam Newton “sexist” story. And then they wonder why late night ratings are in the toilet as people turn to reruns of Modern Family or Big Bang Theory.
So much for this week…
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