If its Tuesday, it must be time for my weekly drivel in the best of the culture wars from the previous week.
SO, EXPLAIN THIS HATE CRIME THING TO ME ONE MORE TIME
Ever watch “Criminal Minds?” Did you ever wonder why the unsub serial killer is white? That’s because there is a narrative that only white people are serial killers. Well, Kansas City had a serial killer dubbed the Indian Creek Killer and it turns out he was- surprise!- black. He has been charged with 2 murders and suspected in the deaths of at least three others. To add a little twist to the killings, all the victims are white middle-aged men.
But there is an even bigger twist. It seems that, according to court records, Frederick Demond Scott once fantasized shooting up a school with the intent to “kill all white people.” Seems like a classic hate crime besides a serial killer, right?
Not according to the newspapers in Kansas City. We don’t know all the facts or his motivations for killing middle aged white men despite his stated desire to “kill all white people.” Instead, we are admonished not to be hasty and stop applying a motive and just ignore that “kill all white people” sentiment.
COMING SOON: A CURE FOR XENOPHOBIA
Innovative researchers in Germany and Oklahoma have found an interesting cure for xenophobia. They discovered that by injecting the dreaded, evil xenophobe with oxytocin (the “cuddle hormone”) they show greater altruism and acceptance of immigrant minority populations. The treatment was tested exclusively on Caucasian subjects because we know that xenophobia is a condition exclusive to whites. They also discovered that people thus treated increased donations to immigrant charities by 74%.
Be careful of that next flu shot.
PRINCETON STUDENTS GO RETRO
A gaggle of student groups representing people of color made a list of demands of the university administration. Of course, there were the ubiquitous demands to have courses in things ending in the word “studies” thus ensuring future unemployed college graduates. Another demand was for student housing segregated based on race or ethnicity. And, naturally, they pronounced they will counter protest if “any Nazi group comes near Princeton,” not that there are many Nazis lurking around Princeton.
My favorite name for one of these groups is Woke Wednesdays.
THE ULTIMATE “OOPS”
So, Patrick Mitchell, a young Australian boy decided two years ago he wanted to be a girl because that is what he identified with being. We all know that children age 10 have the requisite cognitive skills. I mean, that’s why we allow them to vote, get married, raise families and purchase alcohol. His parents spent some bucks to give into his whim and they began hormone therapy to change Patrick into Patricia. Even more surprising is that members of the medical community actually participated in this child abuse.
It now seems that the youngster has had a change of mind and wants to be a boy after all. He will now be taken off hormone therapy and undergo surgery to remove excess breast tissue. There is a bright spot in this whole debacle: At least they didn’t cut off his penis because that is kind of a difficult one to replace once lost.
THE OBLIGATORY DACA OUTRAGE
The entertainment industry wasted no time taking to Twitter to denounce Trump’s rescission of an unlawful and unconstitutional Obama order known as DACA that involved something called “dreamers,” although a more accurate description would be “victims” of human trafficking. Mark Ruffalo, fresh off his abbreviated march from Charlottesville to DC said the action was “cruel, vindictive and heartless…” Lin Manuel Miranda of Hamilton fame said, “The Bad Man continues to do bad…” in actual understandable English. Michael Moore pulled his hand from the industrial size bag of potato chips long enough to also take to Twitter. Even Mia Farrow, who very few realized was still alive and fewer cared, chimed in.
Josh Gad, whose claim to fame is a voice in the animated movie Frozen, wrote: “How many people must be blocked, deported and banned before we say enough?” The short answer, Josh: “All of them until they learn to enter the country legally.” Actress Piper Perabo encouraged her fans(?) to join her in a protest outside Trump Tower leaving many people to wonder: Who the hell is Piper Perabo?
And Chelsea Handler again proved she cannot handle an afternoon cocktail flatly said, “Donald Trump hates brown people” followed later (and many more cocktails) with “Welcome to the land of Kim Jun Trump.” One wonders if Handler would have the intestinal fortitude to say that in North Korea, but one can dream.
AMERICAN PSYCHO: NAZIS, NAZIS EVERYWHERE
Speaking of people who can’t handle their drink, Keith Olberman recently took to Twitter and had a few choice words for Trump and others. After the pardon of Joe Arpaio, he said, “Now you’ve banned loyal soldiers, pardoned that piece of s**t Arpaio, and still not declared an emergency. You are filth @realDonaldTrump.” He then directed his anger directly at Arpaio: “You and @Potus can go f**k yourselves, you racist Nazi f**ks.”
But he wasn’t finished and one can almost picture the veins in his neck bulging as his face becomes flushed as he writes: “Gorka resigns. So the day isn’t a total loss. Now leave the country, @SebGorka, you Nazi f**k.” Finally, after Education Secretary Betsy DeVos stated concern for schools in the wake of the Texas flooding, Olberman lent his unique analysis: “The hurricane is going to do less damage to schools than you are, Motherf***er.”
That’s a ton of profanity and Nazis in one week from someone whose head is a few short steps from spontaneous combustion. But considering the pitiful downfall of the man from ESPN to MSNBC to an little watched webshow, one can see why he would attempt to remain relevant with profanity and visions of Nazis.
BEYOND HYPOCRISY
Robert Roche is a member of an Apache tribe and Native American activist best known for trying to get the Cleveland Indians to change their iconic mascot, Chief Wahoo. Roche is was also executive director of the American Indian Education Center which receives grants from the federal government; in fact, up to almost $300,000 per year. You can see where this is leading.
Because- yep!- Chief Robbing Roche of Cleveland, Ohio was indicted by the US government for embezzling about $80,000 of federal grant money for personal gain. Because nothing says Native American advocacy more than stealing from your own.
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