Diary

Hold the Presses: Call Off the Korean War, Part 2

FILE - In this Sunday, April 15, 2012 file photo released by the Korean Central News Agency and distributed by the Korea News Service, North Korean leader Kim Jong Un, right, smiles with the Korean People's Army senior officers, Vice Marshal and Vice Chairman of the Central Military Commission Choe Ryong Hae, center, and Vice Marshal and the military's General Staff Chief Ri Yong Ho, during a mass military parade in Kim Il Sung Square to celebrate the centenary of the birth of his grandfather, national founder Kim Il Sung in Pyongyang, North Korea. North Korea said Monday, July 16, 2012 it has relieved Ri Yong Ho from all posts because of illness. (AP Photo/Korean Central News Agency via Korea News Service)

In a truly deranged fit of weirdness, those who engage in conspiracy theory have latched onto a new line of thinking being that Trump is about to be either be impeached any day now, going to be indicted any day now, or is going to resign in disgrace any day now (but not before pardoning himself and family members), there is a new one making the rounds.  Some on the Left have latched onto a best-unkept secret: North Korea and the United States have been using a back-channel to communicate for months now.  More shockingly, they continue to use these back-channels even as the midget madman of Pyongyang and Trump escalate the war or words.

Back channel communications are nothing new to Presidents.  They are the same things that Obama used to communicate with the Iranians.  Or that other presidents used to communicate with the Cubans.  Or that Trump used to communicate with Russians.  Ooops- that is all part of the conspiracy syndrome.  Regardless, Joseph Yun, a US envoy for North Korea policy, has been in contact with Pak Song Il, the North Korean diplomat at the UN and they have been in contact for some time.  In fact, it is believed that Yun secured the release of an American prisoner who happened to return to the US in a coma.

But the new conspiracy theory goes something like this: Trump is talking tough to bolster his standing in the United States, especially among his more adamant supporters who want to go kick the butt of some non-Christian, non-white (and height deprived) people.  Kim Jong-Un gets to look tough in front his adoring fans by threatening to nuke the United States and Guam.  You see?  This is nothing but a choreographed dance between two despotic rulers to distract from their troubles at home.  By the looks of what is the reality in North Korea, a country’s ruler being equated with a deity hardly qualifies as “troubles.”

You have to hand it to Trump; he got this nutcase in North Korea to play along for the cameras and soundbites.  I can see it now:

Trump:  You tell them to say they’ll attack Guam (laughter and snickers)

Envoy: (relays message)

Jong-Un:  Ooooh… your president very good.  I rush out statement today.  Tell Mr. Trump that a good one…

But it gets even better.  Jong-Un invited sanctions on one-third of his tiny economy in order to back down making Trump’s “fire and fury” statement look like a winner here in the US.  Then we wait a few months and Trump will ask that the sanctions be lifted.  Why didn’t we all realize this?  They are just trying to help each other out.

The conspiracy theorists out there have once again figured out the complexities of international relations.  It is all just one big act.  So calm down, relax, book that trip to Guam and just ignore that missile flying over the Pacific Ocean.