Its time for another installment of tales of the absurd from the culture wars- a weekly feature brought to you by moi to elicit laughter and mirth. The seven best stories from the past week:
HOT TOPIC, CAPITALISM AND SOCIAL JUSTICE
Being “woke” is now the trend in fashion which means signaling one’s social virtue by the clothes they wear and Hot Topic- that trendy store in your local mall that allows you dress like you’ve been to a punk rock concert despite never attending a punk rock concert- has jumped on the bandwagon.
For about $20, you can now don the latest attire in anti-Trump wear to protest at your high school or middle school. The collection also includes an assortment of gay pride paraphernalia and also some T-shirts that celebrates the intersectionality of the feminist/gay pride/transgender stuff with Black Lives Matter. There is feminist jewelry and “Nasty Girl” shirts as well as bracelets imploring the looker to “Stop the hate.” Note: criticizing the brand may have you branded an “uglyist.”
This proves only one thing: capitalism is great!
A NOW A MUSEUM DEDICATED TO…THE VAGINA
A feminist blogger took to social media (what else?) to announce a fundraising effort to house a museum dedicated to the vagina. Seriously…I am not making this up! Said Florence Schecter:
“I realized there’s no place dedicated to the female anatomy. I was pretty upset about this, but then I realized that there was just one way to rectify this, and that was to make my own vagina museum.”
She envisions holding feminist lectures, plays and other exhibits at her Museum of the Vagina. However, some on the Left have called out feminists and denounced things like the ubiquitous pussy hats and performances of “The Vagina Monologues” since they are insensitive to the transgender. But Schecter is ready with a response: ““I don’t like the idea that you define a woman by her genitalia…” Ah, so the museum is not really dedicated to the vagina.
This proves several things. First, feminism is so devoid of any argument these days that they have to resort to museums about female genitals. Second, this is clearly sexist and males should demand a Museum of the Penis and Testicle to open next door. Third, feminism is hypocritical. On the one hand, you shouldn’t define a woman by their genitalia yet on the other hand you should celebrate the woman by highlighting her genitalia. Fourth, capitalism is great!
ANOTHER HATE CRIME BITES THE DUST
In Charlotte, North Carolina an Indian food store came under an arson attack. Left behind was a note stating it was part of a pro-Trump group’s attempt to rid North Carolina of foreign immigrants. It demanded that immigrants leave the country and was signed “White America.”
The only problem with this story is that Curtis Flournoy, age 32, was arrested for the crime and he is decidedly not white…as in 100% African-American. While the Southern Poverty Law Center- an organization so misnamed since it has little to do with the South, poverty or the law- will no doubt rush to his defense and state this is what blacks have been driven to in Trump’s America, it should rightfully be classified by what it is- a hate crime.
LITTLE BLUE PEOPLE ARE SEXIST
Two screenwriters, responding to accusations that the Smurfs were perpetuating sexism, were hired to put Smurfette front and center in their latest movie: “Smurfs: The Lost Village.” But these dolts can’t seem to do anything right to appease the social justice watchdogs.
Instead, the movie came under attack in the usual liberal rags for despite the fact that she is front and center, she is still the one who warns the more dominant male smurfs to save the village and does not actually partake in the “saving.” That is, she is not strong enough a female character. No doubt, the very few people who saw the movie were obviously traumatized by the injustice.
Besides these criticisms, there is another apparent problem with the movie- it sucks. It opened to a very underwhelming $14 million in its first weekend of release. In other words, the market has spoken and capitalism is great!
HIPPIE CULTURAL APPROPRIATION
It now seems that there is subculture appropriation. Some snowflake at the University of Maryland, in an effort to get their 15 minutes of fame, is railing against another fashion trend- hippie wear. The article says that hippies were the main driver of social change and opponents of conformity and capitalism. As such, they should be on some pedestal and their clothes not “appropriated” by the fashion industry since this sullies their achievements.
So, peasant blouses, ripped jeans and flowers in your hair are examples of subcultural appropriation since hippiedom was clearly a subculture (and overwhelmingly white at that). Unfortunately, the writer of the article seems to forget that the hippie era came and went and other than giving us some good music and residual refugees in San Francisco, their contribution to society hardly makes them immune to subcultural appropriation.
SEAN SPICER REDUX
So Sean Spicer got himself into some trouble when comparing Syria’s Assad to Hitler. But, what if Spicer was technically correct in his statement? To wit, we have some evidence of that possibility. In 2013, the Organization for the Prohibition of Chemical Weapons (OPCW) won a Nobel Peace Prize for working to keep the use of chemical weapons taboo. At the time, and until the kerfuffle over Spicer’s comments, their website- in a section dedicated to the use of chemical weapons- said the following:
Chemical Weapons were used by a number of countries in the inter-war period, and all the major powers involved in World War II anticipated that large-scale chemical warfare would take place. Contrary to expectations, however, Chemical Weapons were never used in Europe in World War II.
Take note of that final sentence. No less an authority on the use of chemical weapons and one that received a Nobel Peace Prize seems to give support to Sean Spicer. After the Spicer comment, the OPCW added a subtle change to their quote by adding the words “on the battleground…” While every group with a grudge against anything associated with Trump was yelling “Anti-Semite” or “Holocaust denier,” it would appear that Spicer’s comments were clearly identical when taken in context to to those of the authoritative organization on chemical weapons- the OPCW.
So take that Anne Frank Center and shove it down your Leftist piehole!
AND FINALLY…A BIG BAD BOMB IS SEXIST
As predicted, the Left erupted on social media over the use of MOAB on some ISIS filth in Afghanistan. It wasn’t the cost, the morality or the legality they railed against…it was even worse! According to one Tweet, calling it the MOTHER of all bombs was the “epitome of lethal patriarchy.” The BBC, in their coverage, received several complaints about the use of the word “mother.” Some in #TheResistance suggested that the “M” stand for “misogynist.” The list of silliness can go on and on and on.
Call it whatever you want. The bottom line is that there are at least 36 dead terrorists which should make anyone- male, female, confused, etc.- happy.