Top Ten Reasons John McCain Must Go

The following are the top ten reasons John McCain must go. Unfortunately, the citizens of Arizona, the members of the United States Senate, and the Nation and the world are stuck with him for at least the next three years. While we can all appreciate, in obligatory fashion, his service to his country as a fighter pilot in Vietnam and as a senator, it is clear that John McCain has outlived his usefulness. Arizona is a beautiful state and McCain needs to spend more time there soaking in the sun by his pool sipping mojitos and writing his memoirs.

Reason #10: His age- I generally do not have a problem with public figures of importance being old. Many Supreme Court Justices, for example, worked well into their 90s and were quite productive and showed no outward signs of senility. I do have a problem when public figures hang on despite their age and do act senile. Before Robert Byrd passed away, many commentators often remarked on his eloquence. Maybe early in his career, but near the end of his career, he was a babbling, drooling, unintelligible fool. McCain appears headed towards that trajectory. Some people, no matter their walk in life, should know when to quit, but unfortunately for whatever reason, they simply hang on. In the case of McCain, he would not even be leaving while on top. That is sad.

Reason #9: His tenure- Again, this is somewhat related to his age. McCain first won election to the Senate in 1986. Ronald Reagan was in office that year and McCain often butted heads with the Reagan administration, most notably over the use of the military in Lebanon. However, the times have changed. The Republican Party has changed. It is highly doubtful, despite his rhetoric, that McCain is a Republican in the Reagan mold. And tenure does not necessarily translate into expertise. There have been plenty of dumb legislators who held onto office for long periods of time. McCain is proving that observation. Unfortunately, they become entrenched. When times change, it is often a sign that the dinosaurs need to retire to the tar pits of their home in Arizona.

Reason #8: Recent criticism over video- Just yesterday, McCain tried to rip Fox News a new one over a now widely-seen video, smuggled out of Syria, of McCain’s latest cause du jour- the Free Syrian Army- executing people while yelling “Allah akbar.” According to McCain, this does not represent his new buddies in Syria, but is an aberration. Most reports out of Syria indicate that seven of the nine rebel groups operating in Syria have ties to Al Qaeda. Yet, John McCain, on one of his jaunts to the Middle East, has come to the conclusion that the FSA is not affiliated with Al Qaeda, and they are not Islamic radicals. The video speaks for itself. And there are more videos out there of the same ilk.

Reason #7: He is a wimp- The 2000 Republican presidential primary in South Carolina confirms this. To recap, McCain came into that primary with some wind at his back in his battle against George W. Bush. However, he failed to count on the fact that politics can sometimes be ruthless, especially in South Carolina. Just ask Nikki Haley. When Bush’s operatives played some dirty politics in that state- like the whisper campaign about his “black child”- McCain ran from the campaign like a scared little girl from a spider on the playground. Bush went on to win the nomination in a cakewalk. Maybe McCain’s real time was 2000 rather than his failed run in 2008. Yet, even in 2008 he failed to attack Obama where he was most vulnerable because of his fear that those attacks would be viewed as “racist.” Meanwhile, Obama had no compunctions about using the race card against McCain. When politics gets dirty, the winner is sometimes the dirtiest of the two, not the wimp that runs away. And as further proof that McCain is a wimp, his closest associate and soul mate in the Senate personifies the word “wimp-” Lindsey Graham.

Reason #6: He is the closest thing we have to a real Dr. Strangelove- Seriously! Watch him when he gets angry (usually misplaced anger). You can see his entire body straining to keep his hand from attacking his face. All he needs is the wheelchair, the cigarette and a German accent.

Reason #5: An obvious poker fixation- The pictures of John McCain playing video poker on his phone while the Senate debated military action in Syria is kind of defensible. Those hearings, with their pontificating by Senators and questions that drag on for the allotted time, can get real boring real quick. Besides, John McCain went to those hearings with his mind made up because, after all, he had visited the Syrian-Turkish border and got bamboozled by the fine folks in the Free Syrian Army. The only question is what kind of a poker player is John McCain?

Reason #4: His stance on immigration- John McCain comes from a border state with a porous border. Arizona may be ground zero in the illegal immigrant problem. This is, admittedly, a tough subject that requires a comprehensive solution. But, look at McCain’s all over the map approach to the problem. When running in 2008, he became a staunch advocate of getting tough on the problem, yet four years later he becomes dovish on immigration reform. Maybe he is really deciding to retire from the Senate in 2016 and he has nothing to lose by taking this softened stance. After all, an increased legal Hispanic population in Arizona will likely not vote for him any way. However, it may hurt is potential Republican successor. Not that politics per se should dictate a stance or a solution to the immigration problem, but commonsense should. McCain is surprised that many conservatives are upset about his stance on immigration reform. There is a good reason: history! We have been down the amnesty pathway before and the problem did not improve; in fact, it got worse. So McCain is a little thick-headed if he fails to fathom conservative concerns about his perception of “immigration reform.”

Reason #3: Alleged expertise- Because you were a fighter pilot and former Vietnam prisoner of war does not make you an expert on all things pertaining to the military. It also does not make you an expert in the area of foreign policy. Because you make two day trips to places like Iraq, Afghanistan and Turkey, it does not make you an expert on the complexities of the Middle East. It behooves me to understand why the mainstream media often runs to John McCain as the voice of the GOP when it comes to military or foreign policy matters. No offense, but Sam Nunn is the closest thing to a true expert in any area while serving as a Senator and you, John McCain, are no Sam Nunn. The same goes for his other stances in other areas. He usually prefaces his statements with, “Listen ____, I come from Arizona and I know about the illegal immigrant problem,” or “Listen ____, I know a little about the use of military power.” These prefatory statements regarding his expertise is getting a little old- like him.

Reason #2: That damn maverick image- We really need to retire that phrase. John McCain is not a “maverick” because he occasionally goes against GOP mantra. Every legislator at times does this. We can throw in there Rand Paul, Ted Cruz, Mike Lee, etc. Incidentally, these are all people that McCain has openly criticized which makes people think that he is a maverick for doing so. He is considered a “maverick” for his stances on Syria, his stance on immigration, his stance on you fill in the blank. But the one area that most got him this image was McCain-Feingold. First of all, McCain should be embarrassed to put his name on any piece of legislation with Russ Feingold. Second, regarding that law there is one little problem- the United States Constitution, specifically the First Amendment. And McCain is not averse to, with that little smile, reminding anyone within listening distance that he is a “maverick.” The Oxford dictionary defines “maverick” thus: (1) “an unorthodox or independent-minded person; (2) an unbranded calf or yearling.” Most likely, McCain envisions himself as definition #1, but he is closer to the second definition, specifically the rear end of that calf.

Reason #1: Dentistry- Is it just me, or did the dentist forget to remove the gauze from the side of his mouth after dental surgery?