A Humorous Distraction

The following is from an e-mail that was sent to me. If others have seen it, he humor is still apparent. I include it to break up the tendency here on Redstate where every other article seems to be about or mention gay marriage (oops). Obviously, it has been a boring week if this subject dominates the news cycle. Anyway, these are actual answers to test questions from a Catholic Elementary School. The incorrect spelling has been left in.

1. Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. Noah’s wife was Joan of Ark.

2. Lots wife was a pillar of salt during the day and a ball of fire at night.

3. The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had problems with unsympathetic genitals.

4. Sampson was a strong man who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah.

5. Samson slayed the Philistines with the Axe of the Apostles.

6. Moses led the Jews to the Red Sea where they made unleavened bread which is bread without any ingredients.

7. The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. After wards, Moses went up to Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments.

8. The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat an apple.

9. The seventh commandment is thou shall not admit adultery.

10. Moses dies before he had a chance to reach Canada. Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.

11. The greatest miricle in the bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him.

12. David was a Hebrew king who was skilled at playing the liar. He fought the finkelsteins, a race of people who lived during Biblical times.

13. Solomon, one of Davids sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.

14. When Mary heard she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna Carta.

15. Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.

16. St. John the blacksmith dumped water on his head.

17. Jesus enunciated the golden rule which says do unto others before they do one to you.

18. The people who followed the lord were called the 12 decibels.

19. the epistles were the wives of the apostles.

20. One of the opposums was St. Matthew who was also a taximan.

21. St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony- another name for marriage.

22. Christians only have one spouse. This is called monotony.

23. Our father who arnt in heaven hello what’s your name?