Open Letter to Keith Olberman

Last night I had the displeasure of forcing myself through 45 painful minutes of Countdown with Keith Olberman.  This was mainly because O’Reilly had the husband of the woman who was attacked by that crazed chimpanzee in Connecticut.  Now, it is not that I am unsympathetic towards people attacked by chimps in America, but with everything else going on in the world… o.k., so I really don’t care.  Besides, Congress has quickly addressed this by banning the interstate transportation of chimps.  But I digress.

Olberman’s first segment was cutely titled “Grand Obstruction Party” where he was railing against how Republicans in the Senate are standing in the way of the Omnibus Appropriations Bill currently being debated in Congress.  It is apparent that Olberman is of the opinion that Republicans are expected to roll over like lap dogs- like YOU, Mr. Olberman- and approve anything Pelosi or Obama pass off as legislation.  You, Mr. Olberman, expect the Republicans in Congress to have tingles up their legs when Obama speaks, like other “reporters” on MSNBC.  I also learned that “Joe the Plumber” and Sarah Palin, taken together, have a collective IQ somewhere in the neighborhood of the barely functional mentally retarded.  No, he did not actually say that, but it was certainly inferred.  Sarah Palin’s name came up only after Ariana Huffington- the Zsa Zsa Gabor of politics and self-annointed political expert- brought up the name as Olberman’s guest on the show.  Later, I learned that because of George Bush’s policy regarding stem cell research, he may have been partially responsible for the death of actor Christopher Reeves.  Personally, perhaps the Reeves family should sue the horse that threw him.  Then there was the obligatory run-through of the cause of the current financial meltdown laid, predictably, at the feet of George Bush and the “same failed policies of the past eight years.”  Specifically, it was their damned insistence on massive bank deregulation that led to this mess even though the banks were deregulated in 1997 under a Democratic President.  Perhaps, Mr. Olberman, you were too busy studying the NFL draft that year to realize that Bill Clinton was President in 1997, that he signed this law into effect, that he had no Republican gun to his head, and that his own Treasury officials pushed just as hard for bank deregulation as the Republicans in Congress.  In a previous episode, sir, I learned from you that it was the Bush-Cheney policies that led to the terrorist attack of 9/11.  My understanding is that this attack was some six years in the making.  Doing the math, which is abundantly beyond Olberman’s abilities, that would make it 1995 and if memory serves me correctly, Clinton was President in 1995.  Perhaps he was to busy licking his wounds from Hillary’s health care initiative debacle.  Perhaps he was just too busy licking other things that need not be mentioned here.  And, sir, lest we forget, the transition of power from Clinton to Bush was delayed while Al Bore cried and whined his way to the Supreme Court.

I do not know why I subjected myself to this mindless drivel that comes from Olberman that borders on pure hatred.  When your voice is not dripping in sarcasm and disdain, you surround yourself with like-minded liberal commentators to validate your alleged journalistic accumen.  You, KEITH, are not only a disgrace to the word journalism, you are a disgrace to humanity.  During the Huffington part of the show, Jesse Jackson came up in reference to a David Frum article to be run in Newsweek where he equates Rush Limbaugh in 2009 as akin to Jesse Jackson and the Democrats in the 1990s.  After extolling the virtues of Jackson’s 2000 DNC convention speech as inspiring rhetoric, Olberman paraphrased Lloyd Bentsen: “I’ve met Jesse Jackson, and you, Rush Limbaugh, are no Jesse Jackson.”  Rush Limbaugh and all conservatives should take that as a compliment, not as the insult you intended.  Which demonstrates YOUR intelligence in that you cannot even insult correctly.  Ann Coulter recently ran an article about YOU that should be required reading in which she exposed and downplayed your high-brow alleged Ivy League background.  Even if true, your education has failed you, Keith.  You are nothing more than a mouthpiece for all the loons on the left and their undying, groveling, grotesque love affair with Herr Obama and his socialist/fascist agenda.  It is good, however, to have people like you making fools of yourselves on television because it grounds the rest of us in reality.  Perhaps one day soon, you, KEITH, will go the way of the buffalo and near extinction, or given your on-air rants, off the cliff with the rest of your left wing nut cases.  But, given the ratings of Olberman, Maddow and the rest of what pass for reporters on MSNBC, perhaps the network will go extinct and do us all a favor.