As of 1:09 this morning, I became constitutionally eligible to be President of the United States of America. I would like to announce that I am running for president in 2012.

I state my qualifications:

1. I am a naturally born citizen.
2. I am 35 years old.

As for “implied” qualifications, I would like to thank the current president-elect for pretty much doing away with that. The biggest thing I have over him, is that I have chosen my associates better. I didn’t sit in a bigot’s church for the last 20 years, dropping it only when it became politically inconvenient. I have never even talked to someone who planted bombs and planned bombing fellow citizens and our government buildings. Heck, I’m not going to select a doofus like Joe Biden for my running mate.

So I have already shown better judgment than the 44th President of the US.

Join me my friends, we have a long hard road ahead of us, but together, we can make it happen!

Just one question I have really, when do I get my matching funds? I’ll settle for a few million from the bailout. Addendum: I do have one other obvious qualification. I was born on the 10th anniversary of the Kennedy assassination, some people has said that I can lay claim to Camelot (hey if the 2004 Democrat nominee thought just because he had the same initials…).