Bewitched In Delaware

So it turns out Christine O’Donnell once imprudently dabbled in witchcraft as a high school student, at the time no doubt the product of some “government school” (to quote Boortz) with a “head full of mush” (to quote El Rushbo). So what? How many current Baby Boomer politicians, advisers, technocrats, pundits, policy wonks, academics and other “sophisticates” dabbled in all sorts of crap back in that cultural cesspool known as the 60s? In the estimation of the Left they’re all doing just fine “fundamentally transforming” this ounce-great country.

The real question comes down to this: which witch do we prefer? The adorable, cute “witch”, Christine, or that genuinely evil Wicked Witch of the West, Nancy Pelosi? Not to mention Hillary—no wait; technically Hillbabe’s a bitch, not a witch.

I realize that Madame Blavatsky, er, Pelosi is not on the ballot in Delaware. But an O’Donnell win in that state would amount to a deadly splash of water on the Wicked Witch. I can almost hear her now: “My power…my power is MELTING.”

(Lest the reader think I’m merely engaging in demagoguery, I offer this empirical evidence: there’s a video making the rounds depicting Nancy Pelosi in her black robe and pointy black hat. It must be true—I saw it on the Internet.)

Speaking of the Black Arts, how about that Stimulus Plan? Talk about “voodoo economics”. The Democrats were obviously putting their faith in black magic when they gambled on that one. And they no doubt employed alchemy to concoct that mysterious, esoteric Health Care Reform legislation they finally came up with. Remember, all the uninitiated would be denied gnosis until the bill was irrevocably enacted into law first. It’s ironic that the Party that promised “transparency” in governance is so caught up in its very opposite, the occult. The Grand Wizard himself, Obama, ascended to power by casting a spell on the American people. Thankfully, he’s lost his mojo and his spell is finally lifting despite the best efforts of his temple whores and sorcerers in the media to rekindle it.

It has long been rumored that Rahm Emanuel once made a pact with the devil to further his political career and has been demon-possessed ever since. That would go a long way toward explaining the effusive f-bombs and his thumbing his nose at some Republican during Obama’s Immaculation Ceremony. And the White House gnome and economic guru, Little Timmy Geithner, spends his days fiddling with his Ouija board and I Ching hexagrams. (Okay; I admit I made up this paragraph.)

In light of all this the case can be made that Congress is already infested with witches. What’s the harm in one more, especially if she’s a conservative?

In the Good Book there’s a strong connection between sorcery and idolatry. And what is the Democratic Party but one large coven of idolaters slavishly worshipping at the feet of their false god, The State? Animal sacrifice is verboten (thanks to a core Democrat constituency, PETA) so, instead, they sacrifice freedoms, the reputations and careers of political enemies, American traditions and Judeo-Christian values on their vile altar.

The covenant between government and sorcery is not unprecedented. Pharos’s Cabinet was peppered with witches, soothsayers, diviners and sorcerers. And how did that work out for him?

Looking at this Delaware issue more pragmatically and optimistically, O’Donnell has a lock on the all-important Wiccan vote. And perhaps she can make real inroads into the general electorate given the current pop culture fascination with werewolves and vampires. I bet at least half the population of Delaware has already gone over to the Dark Side. So I’m convinced the fans of True Blood and the “Twilight” series can be persuaded to vote for the Good Witch of the East, Christine.

And let’s not discount the “Testosterone Gap”. Christine O’Donnell can win big in Delaware because she’s one hot witch.