Could You Hurry Up And Die Already, Bob?

I should hasten to point out that I bear no personal animus toward the honorable Robert Byrd, the elder statesman from the great state of West Virginia. And I take no pleasure in the news that the distinguished nonagenarian suffered a fall that has landed him in the hospital. But the time has come for the Senate chamber to clear out its oldest bit of detritus.


Perhaps some might find my lobbying for Senator Byrd’s early demise to be shocking and in bad taste. But I assure you, I merely beseech the good West Virginian in the spirit of the new ethos emerging from the mists of leftist thinking which (unfortunately) suffuses the culture at large, a culture which, after three decades of willful oblivion to mass abortion, has been desensitized to all the pleasantries of Thanatos. Just this week Newsweek’s cover splashed this headline: The Case For Killing Granny. (For a nuanced thinker, that Evan Thomas certainly does not mince words.) From the public health policy pronouncements of Ezekiel Emanuel to the euthanasia-tinged workbook promoted by the Department of Veterans Affairs to the de facto “death panels” contained in any iteration of ObamaCare—advocacy for “pulling the plug” on the geezers has seeped into “mainstream” thinking. So I’m just spouting the “nuanced” conventional wisdom; and if you’re offended, how déclassé.


Senator Byrd has served his country. (I was going to add “admirably” but just couldn’t quite bring myself to do so.) More to the point, he’s served his purpose. It was fun while it lasted—that stint as a KKK kleagle was a hoot—but it’s time to wrap it up. After all, the technocrats will soon be nudging citizens considerably younger than the good senator to fulfill their patriotic duty by shuffling off.


Let’s face it, the befuddled, rambling old Byrd has outlived his usefulness and should fly to coop. Well, not quite, maybe. Come to think of it, the Democrats can ill-afford to lose a vote in the Senate with health care reform in the docket. I’ll bet the cagey old codger will probably hang on just long enough to cast his last vote—for ObamaCare, no doubt—even as he’s drawing his last wheezing breath. Now that would be a dramatic CSPAN moment.


Still, I must persist in imploring Robert “Sheets” Byrd to do the right thing and seriously consider checking out sooner than later. After all, it’s only fair. In fact, given that those Massachusetts Dems are cheating—again—by rewriting state law—again—to ensure, to their advantage, that Teddy’s U.S. Senate seat won’t get cold, I believe karma would dictate that Senator Bob should exit this mortal coil before the next roll call. (There’s an old hymn with the refrain, “when the roll is called up yonder, I’ll be there.” Well, that should be music to saint Bob’s ears—he hates to miss a roll call—unless he’s lost his hearing.)