Diary

Donald Trump is a Poofy Haired Moron. What a Loser! I mean, C'mon-- What is that-- His Face, or a Nerf Ball?

Alright, let’s get something on the table right now: What kind of a Jerk goes by “Donald”? All the Donalds I know –and I know lots and lots of Donalds, and they are all great, great men, believe me– go by “Don”, not “Donald”, Don Rickles, Don Johnson, Don Juan –who is Mexican, by the way, and I love Mexicans, but”Donald” is what sissy little schlongs who can’t play two-hand touch out on Flatbush demand to be called when their Mama leans out the door and calls him home for supper am I right? You know I’m right. I mean, c’mon it’s terrible, just terrible. They are nasty, nasty guys, really. You can’t really trust what they say, because they come crying home, saying “mommy, mommy, the big kids won’t let me play!” and probably Daddy is inside somewhere counting all the money he’s putting into Donald’s trust fund, just a small amount like a million or so, probably at Goldman-Sachs, and Citibank, and Jamie Diamond, and, and I know all those guys, trust me. I could name them all, have lunch with them. That’s what you do. You sit down, have some lunch– and I know all the great places, stupendous places to have lunch, believe me, just terrific, and Donald This and Donald That, and all the while, can you imagine Donny Osmond’s career if he went by Donald Osmond? I mean c’mon folks, lets be real for a second. And Don Schula? Now there’s a guy, really, and Football? He knows steaks, too. Great, great steaks. Can you imagine Don Schula’s wife –I’ve met her, many, many times, and trust me, she doesn’t go “Donald, time to go to opera!” you know what I’m saying here and besides, Donald Henly, Donald McClean’s American Pie, now there was a song, and it was about God, and I believe in God, because I sit down, and I’ll have a little bit of whiskey and rye (it’s the only thing I really drink, you know) and have my little slice of American Pie and Donald Knotts, really? It’s DON Knotts, not “Donald”,  remember he was on what, Mayberry RFD now there was a really, really good wholesome show, stupendous show but he was also on Three’s Company with Suzanne Sommers, and boy, if you can’t tell, I really like women, really, really attractive women, but only Jerks, real, nasty Jerks go by Donald. Now you may not like that, no, no, now wait, but with polls at –what, 40, 60 percent, saying Dons who go by Donald are, well, lets just say nobody likes them, okay, not once they get to know them.