Cain, Gingrich, Romney and Perry: The Four Horsemen of the Barackalypse

Electorally speaking, President Barack Obama is going to get spanked in 2012– make book on it.

But, who cares?

I’ve heard some really awful stuff about these Republicans that want to run against him…

I hear that Herman Cain only thinks in cunning, marketing-savvy terms: “9-9-9″… Indeed! What simplistic rubbish. Everything to Herman Cain is as simple as selling a pizza! Besides, it’s gonna raise my taxes! Cain is a walking gaffe machine, too! What about that “pro-life” stance of his? I’ve seen rubber gloves less wishy-washy! And that wife of Herman Cain’s!? I mean, c’mon! Has anyone even seen her? We couldn’t possibly vote for a man with an invisible wife! I heard she’s some sort of ghost, or something.

I’ve heard some really disturbing things about Rick Perry, too: I heard he strapped nine-year-old girls down and injected them with some sort of sex disease, so that he’d get kickbacks from drug lobbyists. I don’t quite understand it, but, that’s what I heard, anyway. And that “thing” he’s got for all those illegal Mexicans? What’s up with that? He’s sending them all to college for free, so that our kids wind up mowing his lawn, I guess. Plus, he’d rather be out campaigning than putting out the forest fires in his own state. What a phony!

And don’t even get me started about Newt Gingrich. He’s about as unelectable as they get! I heard he’s been divorced a whole bunch of times, and is really fond of having his new girlfriend serve up the divorce papers to his current wife while she lays in the hospital, dying of cancer. I don’t know how many times he’s done it, but I heard it’s A LOT!  Or something like that. We can’t possibly have a buffoon like that in the White House. Yeah, yeah, he’s got all those fancy ideas, but he’s undisciplined. Runs off at the mouth. Throws gallons of crap at the wall and hopes it’ll stick. We don’t need a guy like that as the Republican nominee.

Romney! Romney?! Certainly you’ve heard what a flip-flopping liberal HE is. And that hair? I heard he spends more on it in a week than John Edwards spent in a whole year. We need to see his tax returns just to see how much of THAT got written off. And he apparently needs a “59-point plan”, but God Himself only needed ten commandments. The guy’s a joke! Plus, I heard he believes in global warming, letting off death-row inmates, and eats a vegan diet, too. And, I heard he’s a, a, well… a Mormon, and we all know what a bunch of Stepford Wife crackpots they are. He’d probably be on his knees praying to Joseph Smith when he ought to be out capturing terrorists. That’s what I heard Mormons do, anyway.

Anyway, that’s just what I’ve heard about these guys. You know– on the evening newscasts, or the top-of-the hour radio blurbs. I’ve even read some of it on that right-wing screed-blog called “RedState“. You know they can’t be making it up!

Of course, I know some stuff about Barack Obama, too. Not just “heard“, mind you: KNOW.

I know , for example, that the unemployment rate was 6.4% when he entered office, and it’s been over 9% (if not over 10%) ever since. I know that when he entered office, the total federal budget was $2.9 trillion dollars, with a deficit of $230 billion.  I know this year it will be $3.83 trillion dollars, with a deficit of $1.38 trillion. That’s a five-fold increase in just three years.

I also know that the accumulated national debt was $10.8 trillion dollar on the day Barack Obama was sworn into office. It is now $14.7 trillion dollars, a mere thirty-three months later. I know that 25.5 million folks were on food stamps in the fall of 2008, and now that figure is 43 million Americans. I know that a gallon of gas had tumbled to $2.20 on that January day in 2009, but it now stands at $3.49.

I know that the Obama Administrations, in an attempt to unionize Independent OTR trucking firms through onerous new “green trucks” regulations, has driven hundreds of these firms into bankruptcy or buyout. In 2008, I know there were nearly 4,000 active oil and gas platforms operating under U.S. aegis in the Gulf of Mexico; now that number has been halved. I know that the Obama Administration has helped pass the largest frontal assault on personal liberty (the “Affordable Care Act”) since the founding of the Republic, and that the Congressional Budget Office has recently reversed course from it’s initial assertions that the “Act” would save billions of dollars and create jobs– to saying it will cost trillions, and put 1.2 million folks out of work.

I know that Obama’s Secretary of Health and Human Services admitted to double-counting the savings/cost to Medicare while out shilling for the “Affordable Care Act”, and that no one cared. I know that we’ve thrown $35.9 billion dollars at non-performing or bankrupt “green” companies such as Solyndra. I know that Obama rashly called policemen “stupid”, and then dithered and dissembled over his remarks until it somehow became a race issue.

I know that Barack Obama regularly abused cocaine as a young man, and admits that he cannot remember two years during that time because of it. I know that Barack Obama wants energy costs to “necessarily skyrocket”. I know that his pastor of twenty years is a merchant of anti-American, anti-Jewish hatred. I know the Obama Administration has treated our most trustworthy international allies –such as Great Britain and Israel– with antipathy. I know he’s somehow managed to squeeze in over 90 rounds of golf, even though he’s been in office for only139 weekends. I know he doesn’t start his workday until 10AM, and often quits before 3PM.

I know that Obama’s first Chief of Staff promised a federal job to Joe Sestak in exchange for dropping out of the Pennsylvania senate race, and made similar overtures to other prospective candidates. I know that Obama is in clear violation of the constitution because he refuses to either enforce the duly passed laws of the United States (such as the Defense of Marriage Act), or comply with them, such as with the War Powers Act. I know he has similar contempt for the courts when he won’t lift his authoritarian ban on deepwater oil exploration, or of continuing to implement Obamacare, even after several judges and appellate courts voided it. With other administrations in the past, we’d be talking about impeachment over these (and other) scandals, not re-election.

I know that President Obama’s Attorney General armed Mexican drug cartels with horrifically deadly weapons that killed American citizen–, an act so grotesque, it would have been career-ending for any other AG, or his boss. I know that Obama refused to lift salient portions of the Jones Act to allow foreign-flagged vessels to help with Gulf-coast oil cleanup because they weren’t unionized. I know that President Obama has steadfastly ignored natural disasters in “red state” jurisdictions (the flooding in Nashville, the tornadoes in Alabama), and has actively been involved in creating them (the man-caused drought in California’s Imperial Valley, or the flood-plains along the Missouri river).

I know that Obama has bowed to foreign sovereigns, and apologized for American power. I know that Obama illegally destroyed the first secured creditors of General Motors and Chrysler, and put his union cronies ahead of normal bond holders.

Oh, yes, I know A LOT about Obama. And none of it’s about his marketing cunning, or his lack of debate skills. What I know about Obama has nothing to do with his hair, or his divorces.

I know about his record.

It is a lead-pipe cinch that either Cain, or Newt or Romney or Perry will face Obama in the election next fall. To Obama, these fine, outstanding gentlemen are the Four Horsemen of the Barackalypse, unleashed during his time of Tribulation. To a man, they’ve put out substantive, serious policy proposals. They are waging campaigns built on solid, hard work and the realization that America is teetering on the brink of collapse during a hinge-critical  moment of our shared destiny. Yeah, yeah, I’ve heard all the complaints, all the back-office intrigue about each of them.

None of that matters.

What matters is how we both verbalize our principles –and articulate the disastrous failings of President Obama; HIS failings are the issue. Not Cain’s, not Romney’s, not Newt’s, not Governor Perry’s. We have ideas on our side, so let’s concentrate on those, and leave the back-biting and picayune bitching to the Democrats.

What matters is arming ourselves with the truth about Barack Obama.