I Sure Hope Those Egyptian Protestors Have Filed an Environmental Impact Study!

Well, now, aren’t we just all a-dither and in high dudgeon over the tyrannical, bloodthirsty regime of Hosni Mubarak? That, that…DICTATOR! Ruthlessly suppressing the religious minorities like that, running his iron-fisted economy on the backs of 80-hour work weeks, and the hopeless poverty of the underclass… No, wait, that’s China. It’s hard to tell all these countries apart without a GPS-enabled Blackberry.

Now, admittedly, Barack Obama’s America hasn’t been paying much attention to that part of the world lately, except as an exceptionally life-like stage-set for a Presidential Speech to “The Muslim World”. Perhaps Obama was a little off his game that day, back in the spring of 2009, when he took to the stage in Cairo to deliver yet another Speech For the Ages, thinking rather he was giving soaring, gaseous uplift praising his wife’s choice of indie fashion designers and their preference for natural fabrics. Maybe he thought he was supposed to give a “Speech to the Muslin World”.

No matter. Que Sera, Sera.

But, now that Mubarak has elbowed his way onto the Presidential Radar, Obama is engaged like never before. He Will Not Rest Until Freedom Is Secured For All Egyptians. Of course, bear in mind, he’s already Not Resting from Making Sure All Americans Have Jobs, and he’s not resting Until America is Ready For The Challenges Of The Twenty-First Century, either. But, whatever: Our tireless president isn’t resting, no matter what. Unless you happen to catch him at the turn between the ninth and tenth holes, and he’s trying to snag a burger. THEN he might be resting.

Well, speaking as an American to my Egyptian brothers and sisters, when President Obama is Mister Cop on the Beat in the protection of your liberties, all I can say is “Uh-huh. Make sure you count the spoons after he leaves your house”.

Also, be thankful you are fighting for your liberties and self-determination in the streets of Cairo, tens of thousands of miles away from here.

If you were attempting to stage this sort of restive little jubilee here in America, the first thing you would have to do is file for a parade permit, making sure to take note of the route, the number of parking spaces available, whether or not there was adequate accommodation for those with disabilities, and what are your preparations for environmental protections, sanitation and clean up? Are there enough porta-potties? And don’t forget, Mr. Egyptian: Your locale may have “potty parity” laws, so make sure you have double the number of toilet facilities for the gals. Even if they can’t vote yet.

I mean, c’mon: I see those billowing clouds of black smoke from torched automobiles in Egypt, and I think to myself: Do these chaps have an air-use permit from the EPA for that? What about carbon off-sets? And the noise? We better get some cops down there quick with a decibel-meter to make sure they are below 55.

Also, I can’t help but notice that the few protest signs I’ve seen are mostly in English. I think we need to enforce the sign codes, and get them to subtitle their placards in Spanish, for our ESL friends.

Does anyone see the irony in a Federal Judge striking down the Orwellianly-named “Affordable Care Act” on the same day that the bubbling cauldron in Cairo seems to be reaching critical mass? While we are all fixated on the gang-fight out the front window, the cops have let themselves in through the back door and are trying to steal the stereo. Thank goodness there was a Reagan-appointed Federal Judge there to stop them.

The events that are unfolding on the Nile serve a very important purpose for us here in the States: The illustrate just how vacuous, silly, and dangerously naive the modern American Left is, and how thier world-view is fundamentally unserious.

Has anyone heard about the earth-shattering headlines coming out of the latest envrio-gab conferance at the U.N. while Egypt is in flames? What’s Al Gore been up to lately –I mean, between massages? I wonder what pearls of wisdom RFK, Jr., would have to add to the dialog? When the events of the day involve existential threats to nations and their ways of life, the little damp squibs of green fetishism and feminist outreach rather recede into the background.

And because of this, it proves how little value most of what the modern left provides to the enduring human condition. And, I might add, how much damage it causes.