Dear New York Times,
I’ve never been so outraged as when that ignorant South Carolina cracker Wilson insulted our President. I could’ve bashed his head in. How dare he interrupt Obama’s speech! How dare he accuse him of lying. Obama, of course, was lying but that isn’t the point. It’s a matter of respect . It’s a matter of decorum.
Republicans are all bringing up Democrats booing George W. Bush during his State of the Union which really just shows how idiotically clueless they are! George W. Bush was a priviledged white male and so (obviously) fair game. Barack Obama is half black and therefore the hope of all oppressed peoples.
If anybody is going to accuse President Obama of lying, it certainly can’t be an old white guy from a state that still flies the Confederate flag. It’d have to be somebody black and very enlightened (it goes without saying that a black Republican is out of the question seeing as they’re all race traitors).
This would seem to be obvious but, as we know, this is no party of Einsteins (1) 78% of Republicans think the world is flat, only 1% are scientists and 99.999% of them are racists (though 95% are too stupid to know it) They really need to sit down, shut up and support the black President, but being racists and too stupid to recognize his superiority, they carry on their childish antics and incite hooliganism and terrorism and stuff. It’s only recently been getting attention, but the childishness actually started some time ago. Remember when John Boehner had a temper tantrum and threw the Stimulus bill on the floor because nobody’d read it?
Honestly! How ignorant can you get? Of course Congress never reads bills. It’s like the “terms and conditions” thing on websites. Nobody ever actually reads it. People have lives. Besides unless you’re a paranoiac you trust that the company isn’t gonna put anything creepy in there. It’s the same with legislating. Democracy is based on trust. You trust that whoever wrote the bill did a good job and vote with the Democrats. But the retarded wingnuts (probably mindlessly following Boehner who really needs to be censured) have all become obsessed with this idea that Congress should be reading legislation before voting it into law. This puts congress people in the awkward position of not really being able to explain. It’s like when little kids ask about things they can’t understand yet….
President Obama has been exceedingly patient with the brownshirted hooligans from the pants on fire party (2). Sure he’s ignored their phone calls, given them no input on the bill, called them liars and fear mongers – but given their outrageous conduct and seeing as they’re all idiots that’s only to be expected. Rather than embarking on serious debate, they’ve used lies, misinformation and scare tactics (3) to incite citizens to go to townhall meetings carrying swastikas(4) and terrorizing (5) lawmakers with things like booing, talking out of turn, and, of course this stupid insistence that they read the bill. Unfortunately we live in such a stupid country (6) that a majority of Americans have been sucked in by it.
Which brings me to my point. Obama has been far to soft on the opposition. Sure he’s smeared them, marginalized them, lied about them, etc. but it isn’t enough! They’re still swaying the ignorant. We need to execute the entire GOP (7) and we need to do it now while we still have 60 votes! These are terrible people! They hate the poor and think the purpose of our society is to indulge their own self centered jet set fantasies(8) but more importantly they don’t know how to show any respect to those who don’t agree with them.
I know some will suggest a more moderate position and I’m open to that. Maybe if we start off just murdering just a few thousand, it will teach the rest civility.
I love you guys’s paper!
Obviously this is a bit of over the top silliness mocking the double standard Democrats seem to have in terms of conduct but many of the insults (those numbered) are from actual Democrats. How anyone acts like Joe Wilson committed some kind of unprecedented outrage is beyond me.
(1) “No party of Einsteins” is from Charles Blow of the NY Times
(2) “pants on fire party” was from some writer Lori Z wrote a diary about. She gave no justification whatever for referring to the Republican party as a whole as liars
(3) lies, misinformation and scare tactics – is, of course from Obama and – as far as I can tell – is the Democratic party line
(4) obviously it was Nancy Pelosi who said town hall activists were showing up carrying swastikas
(5) it was also Charles Blow of the NY Times who said town hall activists were “terrorizing” law makers
(6) Bill Maher said we’re a stupid country
(7) Mike Malloy said the entire GOP should be executed presumably in a desperate plea for attention cuz nobody knows or cares who he is otherwise
and (8) it was Robert Creamer of HuffPo who said Republicans thought our society exists “just to indulge their own self centered jet set fantasies”
There was some Democrat who actually mocked the idea that it was important to read the bill but I’ve forgotten who.