Being Punched in the Gut by Governor Corzine Sure Feels Good!

Thank you Governor Corzine.

We, the people of the state of New Jersey, do not pay nearly enough in taxes. Your proposed budget will rectify that long-standing error on the part of our one-party governing system. Having the highest property tax rates in the country wasn’t good enough. Thank you for eliminating our ability to claim those massive expenditures on our income tax. That is a relief. Your proposal to eliminate the property tax rebates for those earning more than $75,000 a year and severely cutting them back for those earning $50,000-$75,000 is also a breath of fresh air. For a moment there I thought you would actually cut spending on something other than hospitals and pensions for retirees to fix the budget. Thank goodness we can contribute more of our salary so that the largesse can continue! There are after all, many special interests to curry favor with. Don’t worry about that soaring foreclosure rate, given time that 140% increase will find NJ higher than 12th place, I promise you that! (Just a simple look around my neighborhood confirms that my friend!)

In this economy, it also makes perfect sense to increase payroll taxes on our already hurting businesses. That will create jobs and stimulate the state’s economy.

We also need to continue our efforts in the realm of car insurance. We still have the highest car insurance rate of any state, but sadly you can now move to Washington D.C. and pay more for car insurance. It just ain’t right I tell ya.

Now even in the one-party rule state where the “Legalize Pot” party gets as many votes as the GOP, you might be concerned with recent polling suggesting that Chris Christie, the former federal prosecutor might defeat you for re-election. Just remember, a good scandal or two should turn that around for you. After all, only in NJ will your approval rating go up if you are involved in a political scandal. Find a good one to leak about yourself and watch your chances for re-election sky-rocket!

Besides, we both know that the only Republicans ever elected in this state are RINOs. Christie Whitman and Tom Kean are about as conservative as Joseph Stalin. When the state does come up with a conservative, all you need to do is watch the socialist state GOP RINOs stampede that elephant right out of the race. Chris Christie or Steve Lonegan will have to contend with the same GOP leaders, or closet Democrats, that knifed Bret Schundler in the back.

The last statewide elected senator in NJ from the GOP was well over 30 years ago. Other than RINO Christie “It’s My Party Too” Whitman back in the 1990s and fellow RINO Tom Kean in the 1980s the governorship has been smooth-sailing for the Democrats as well.

Of course, if your polling doesn’t improve, you might want to watch your back. I know you like to speed without your seatbelt on, but you might want to look in the rearview mirror from time to time. When it looked like Bob Toricelli was about to lose to Doug Forrester, he took a long walk off a short pier (while wearing concrete blocks for shoes!) It was only a month or so before the election when retired (and senile) octagenarian Frank Lautenberg was smuggled out of the nursing home and back into statewide politics. The voters of NJ eat that stuff up. Changing the rules mid-election? That’s the Jersey way!

By the way, walking corpse Senator Lautenberg was just re-elected to another six-year term. And why not? At 85, he will be a mere 91 when his term expires. Somewhere Senator Strom Thurmond is heard exclaiming, “thatta boy,” from the great beyond. Perhaps a similar geezer lurks in the shadows to take you down should Mr. Christie look like a winner in October.

You have nothing to worry about my friend. Raising taxes on businesses and people who are already having a hard time keeping up with their bills makes perfect economic sense. Sure, record numbers of residents are fleeing the state, but I’m sure that doesn’t mean anything. If they can’t see the glory of living in the highest-taxed, most corrupt state in the entire nation then who needs them?

Governor Corzine, you have to show those people their place. They will pay more taxes and they will like it. Thanks again for raising our taxes, we really appreciate it.