I am happy to announce that I will be joining Alvin Greene in his effort to take the Oval Office. After a sleepless night worrying if Alvin could win without a strong second fiddle, I decided a Greene-Pickle ticket could win the White House.
It is with great humility that I encourage Alvin to take the #1 spot as Greene-Pickle sounds better than Pickle-Greene. Seriously, Greene-Pickle kind of sings to you. It’s like Provo’s Privy in the movie Green Beret.
You may ask how we plan to win the big enchilada?
Look at the facts:
- The 2000 Census shows there are more people with Green(e) in their name than those with Pickle. Just having these people voting for us we would garner approximately 800,000 votes.
- Both Alvin and I are veterans. We thank all veterans in advance for your vote.
- The Race Card will not hurt us. We would automatically get the Pepper and Salt vote.
- Think of the free media exposure! Two years of 24 hour coverage of the Greene-Pickle team. Be honest. Does’t the thought make goosebumps pop up on your arms and a chill down spine.
- We are going to be a bi-partisan ticket. Alvin gets the straight democratic vote. I get the straight Republican vote.
- Alvin gets the sophisticated voters. I get the Rednecks.
- Alvin will get the middle to far left vote. I will bring in the middle to far right vote.
- Both Alvin and I have traveled overseas. We know where to find England, Italy, Egypt, Belgium, Switzerland, France and Russia. If we get lost, never fear. We have GPS on our cellphones.
- Alvin will bring in the young people. I will bring in the old farts.
- Foremost, what you see is what you get.
Our only promise, things definitely will be different in Washington.