Our Senators [a]ren't STUPID! They're THIEVES! [Closed and annotated]

[For our liberal lurkers: please disavow yourself of the notion that conservatives are incapable of using spell check when you write fake diaries like this one. It’s what we call a tell. – Moe Lane]

Lobbyists are running [was this supposed to be ‘ruining’?] America. Labor [u]nions have reduced America to a “has[-b]een” in manuf[]acturing. This [is] so [that] people like Tom Das[]chil[e], Barn[]y Franks, Chris Dodd, and Harry Reid can keep stealing from Americans. Americans can’t stand by and TRUST these THIEVES to d[o] the right thing. They obviously don’t have America’s best interest at heart. How [are] Dodd, Clinton, Rain[e]s, [and/or] Franks avoiding [j]ail for causing the [h]ousing [m]eltdown? We have pros[e]cutors being bought and paid for by the very THIEVES that are bankrupting America. We’ll either [r]ise up and stop this thievery [THIEVERY], or Chaos will e[n]velope America. Our only hope is if the Pentagon and our Military [technically redundant, although the guys in the field would disagree. Vehemently.] take[s] charge of America. Something must be done. These thieves [THIEVES] that have bankrupted our country just fade away into their gated communities with their stolen millions in offshore accounts[,] [u]nscathed by the chaos they have caused. In the end, America’s military [is] the only ones [group] that t[r]uely ha[s] America in their [its] heart[] [singular versus plural, people. Learn when it applies. Apply that learning]. Because if they would DIE for our country, they will surely SAVE OUR COUNTRY.

[…Really, this was embarrassingly bad, particularly since the odds of the United States military rising up in a coup against the duly-elected, legitimate government of the USA is roughly equivalent to the odds of my getting to the moon by putting my head between my knees and spitting. What you guys should be worrying about is that large sections of the officer corps might end up resigning if the new administration’s too ham-handed in its dealings with them; which I’ve yet to see, to the relief of Blue Dog re-election committees all over this country.]

[Better luck next time, moby. – Moe Lane]