5 Good Things About 4 More Years of Obama

I’ve been on a strict non-political diet since the election but have decided now it’s time to move “forward” and look at the bright side of things. So this is a list I came up with on the good things about a continued Obama Presidency.

1) Now you do know where you children are. Yes, they are in the basement playing X-Box along with all the other unemployed 20-somethings.

2) The southern border is now secure. In fact, the few potential illegals now face an upstream struggle having to fight through manufacturers heading in the opposite direction.

3) No need to worry about premium hikes or finding a company with good health benefits, “somebody else” pays for that now.

4) Despite the historically bad economy and decline in world power expect four more years of feel good stories from the mainstream media* – unemployed is the new normal, food stamps are cool, it’s not your fault… you’re owed that **, and of course free birth control –FREE!

5) John Kerry. His intelligence and competency levels are at an all time high and he is prepared to serve once again.***

* Stories like dead ambassadors and White House cover-ups will still be mentioned, but in a glancing manner and only in context with a scurrilous GOP tweet.
** Unless you are an old white man or a southerner… if you happen to be either or both AND rich then prepare for a media lynching (white Hispanics included)!
*** Actually he didn’t rise to the occasion; the bar has just been greatly lowered by Susan Rice.