The Clearly Ambiguous President

Here you go SNL- I wrote the script for you.

Mr. President are we at war?

CAP: Absolutely not. Let me be clear, we are in a kinetic military action.

Is that like an overseas contingency operation?

CAP: We are not fighting man-made disasters here. The enemy is a tyrant that needs to be deposed.

Does that mean the US intends to enforce a regime change then?

CAP: Let me be clear, we do not support regime change instead we stand for regime hope.

But if we do not intend to force Qaddafi out, then what is the goal of this kinetic military action?

CAP: It is a humanitarian mission; the US will not turn a blind eye to atrocities in other countries.

So we can expect a multiple front kinetic operation in Iran, Syria and Yemen in the near future?

CAP: Let me be clear, the US cannot police the entire world.

Mr. President, not a single one of your responses has been clear.

CAP: Why can’t I just eat my waffle?